Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
Bluedog42 7
RRRUUUNNN!!!
janerose21 3
This is some scary shit, but at least you didn't find out she was with another man...but with a doll ...ahhh my eyes !!
Aerosmith101 1
Tell her you're a doll
sidviciousmum 3
My toddler used to do that lol ,,, guess your gf hasn't grown outta it
TheEpicPies 15
WTF?
fatman1970 25
How old is she?
TheMissingPiece 3
Poor dolls.
wildsweetchild 19
Something is wrong with her in a mental level ...maybe a post dramatic disorder... I'd say talk to her and if you really care about her ask her to seek help. If you don't want to deal with it, move on.
wildsweetchild 19
on* a mental level (ugh.. nails )
xgirlofglassx 4
*Post Traumatic... Not dramatic, haha.
sierra142 19
Post dramatic!!! Love it :-)
wildsweetchild 19
lol.. I swear I always thought it's post dramatic ..oh dear...thank you for correcting me. I'm obviously still in a process of learning English.
hecallsmedarlin 7
I'm hoping not with actual breast milk. Then I might be a little concerned as to the fact that if she has breast milk ... shouldn't she have an actual baby to be attending to?
x_Gainer_x 6
Dude RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN