Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
Gagle 0
Run away fast!!!!!!
bunniex1 11
....maybe raggedy ann was thirsty
RedPillSucks 33
Is she going through the motions or is there actual breast milk? If there's breast milk then she's had a baby recently (within the last 3+ years?) and you might want to understand if there was some trauma involved and she lost a child. You need to be more sensitive. If she's just going through the motions, it sounds like she really wants a child. If you don't, you'd better be double gloved, cause she sounds a little unbalanced. Although psycho sex may be the best sex, they don't react too well when you want to leave the scene. Sleep with one eye open. And yeah. You should be more sensitive.
your_face 15
You know double gloving is counter-productive, right?
Calyx_fml 22
Run.
Shades99 1
the hell is wrong with her
FireFlie07 20
That's wrong. Was she pregnant before or is the psychosis making her lactate?
brandon3747 16
Damn
anarchist884 9
Dude, you've got a crazy! Good luck with the break up.... ;)
TheEpicMilkMan 13
how does that work if the dolls cant.....oh god ITS CHARLES D: AKA CHUCKY RUN BITCH RUUUNNNN
MerrikBarbarian 9
Seeing where you live... I can't help it wonder if that was your girlfriends house I passed the other day where half a dozen dolls were posed looking out the window. Scared the crap out of me. O-o in any case, your gf sounds in serious need of some help