Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
KBear3109 29
My daughter does that with her dolls because she sees me breastfeed her baby sister. Then again she is only 14 months old. Oh and to the people saying she's practicing for later: Trust me, there is no amount of practice on a doll that could prepare for the real thing. Real babies are all squirmy and fragile.
RedPillSucks 33
But she might still be doing that. First timers don't always know what they're getting into
spacetravel 1
You're daughter is weird too. I don't know any 14 year olds who do that or did that..
RedPillSucks 33
14 Months
KBear3109 29
Yeah..14 months as in just over 1 year old...
tothecorps 0
RUN! !!!!
Thomsen91 0
I agree with 76. RUN!!
meagy 6
Dafuq?
grapeschicka4 0
Why does your gf have dolls...? What are ya'll, 12?
kitkat789 2
I'm twelve and have not had a doll since I was 5!! Thank you very much!! Lol:p
Derrrrrrp32 6
Lmfao
awesomeAlexx0 0
Dress up as a doll and make it fun
hecseferblade 1
that's hot
Sw33ttp13 1
Maybe she's just a bit crazy?
gianthelper 1
Get out while you can