Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
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Top comments
thantomaniac 0
That SOUNDS funny as hell.
MwahFMLS 6
Grab her boob and sing nyan cat? Meowmeowmeowmeow
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Comments (220)
jellyD 1
Be proud to display a boner in public! You are a man!
Tara_74656 7
loud and proud huh... boys are weird
rusrsbrah 0
Dude, just embrace it. Walk around with that tree in your pants. It's natural.
jobsman99 0
So that means you can grab her **** pinch her nipples and play with her pussy in public? Tell her to wear a dress with no bra or panties. That will be fun for you.
IchigoKoneko 6
I know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend grabs my boobs and honks, because apparently it's hilarious!
Tara_74656 7
its only hilarious if u think it is too. just my opinion
Jewdazking23 5
Next time you go out, but s joy buzzer on your pants near the crotch area. next time she goes for it, ZAP!!!
sammsaballerr 1
that could backfire and buzz his junk -_-
loserman67 36
I must agree with the majority and say that this is funny as hell. But on a serious note: Turn about is fair play, so you can either: A: Grab her crotch and sing, "The Fishin' Blues." ( "Here's a little tip I would like to relate. Big fish bites if ya got a good bait. I'a goin' fishin.' Yes, I'm goin' fishin and my baby's goin' fishin' too.) B: Learn to control your boner and tell her that it has become "Boring" Either way, you win!
annagilbert 6
lmfaaao! thats funny :D
sideshowIFG 0
That. Is. Hilarious!!!!
jaredofmo 22
Why? What's wrong with publicly announcing you and her have a healthy sex life? ... Oh, right. People like that seem to be attention ******.
Arch27 27
At least she isn't singing Justin Bieber?