Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush, the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
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Top comments
Dawkrida 0
ummm forced???? or u just wanted to stare
null_fml 11
To be fair, he might have had a thong on and you just didn't see it from that far away.
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Comments (123)
null_fml 11
To be fair, he might have had a thong on and you just didn't see it from that far away.
Deniise4395 0
haha yahh... gross eather watt..
BoarderBoy15 0
u could have just looked at something else
majones 0
How is this an FML? Who doesn't love hairy buttcracks? I know that I like them
brianred5 0
what 34 said I mean you didn't have to look at it but something about his ass mustve caught your attention
ktbird 0
#34 it was probably like seeing a car wreck. You want to look away but you just *can't*.
Nailbunny 4
nobody forced you
boyguydudemalema 0
u liked that huh?
sam411411 0
you weren't forces, you wanted too
McMarlin 4
Is it just a coincidence your username is "buttcrack"?
michael32123 0
this post gave me wood....
Failbynorway 7
hahaha when i read this i laughed so hard ive farted
cookiepenguin 0
turn your head or read the back of his shirt- it probably said" if you can read this then the wifey fell off"
newmanlyman3 8
at least you are not a boy
myelm17 9
Agreed. Why jump to conclusions? I mean, you could see his crack, sure. But he was still obviously wearing pants. Who's to say his underpants weren't also just riding a little low?
Rockferd 0
He wouldn't happen to have been a plumber, would he?
pedosmurf 7
Slam your head?
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Get out the car, pull up his trousers and get back in like nothing happened.
iSitt 0
don't touch that. you don't know where that's been
iluvmorgan1991 0
lmfao!!! I agree.
scorpio95 0
Haha. Fun.
ninja_ness 3
lol idk why ur complaining you just got 3 hours of free entertainment ^•^
MadaZer0 8
I would go GTA on his ass... RUN HIM OVER!!! You lost your job... Your basically a dead man walking~ Get that sexy ass 6 star wanted level!
whataloadofbull 0
You only get one star, dumbass.
null_fml 11
Yeah, one star for killing the motorcyclist... then what? Don't tell me you pull over and let the cops haul you in! You keep going. #5's comment obviously meant that OP should go for the goal of six stars because she has nothing to lose anymore, and that running over the fat dude would start her on her way. Call someone a dumbass AFTER you learn how to follow a train of thought for more than three words.
CallMeHush 1
I think that train left the station a long time ago.
MadaZer0 8
Thank you once again Macro~
fylatfyldotcom 0
rofl that was a good laugh
vgman88 4
Marco... Polo!!!
Crush89 0
change lanes maybe!? what an idiot. getting fired sucks tho
Epicfailz01 0
that's nice
mzhonesty 0
It was a three hour BUMPER TO BUMPER traffic. Trying to change lanes in that kind of traffic is impossible.
Dawkrida 0
ummm forced???? or u just wanted to stare
glen12 0
I no I did:p
paladininwaiting 1
must have been a sexy, fat, hairy buttcrack or you would've looked at the ugly peep to your left......
saranottelling 7
Maybe it was like a freak show. It was so disgusting yet so interesting at the same time.
awesome8021 3
You know you liked it =)
romain1975 0
now you are just bragging about it!!!!! you enjoyed it and you know it!!
fisheatsbear 6
I was going to say this^^
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Today, I realized I have a fetish for fat, hairy asses. FML
Melkezidech 0
Today, while on my way home from my new job position that opened-up this morning, I got stuck in 3hrs worth of traffic. As if that wasn't enough, some weirdo behind me was staring at my ass like it was their new best friend. FML.
kitty_f 3
why were u staring ?
ladida94 0
#16 = wiiiiiiin
CallMeHush 1
Girl are you in luck, there is no shortage of fat hairy asses around. Heck, some of them are even on guys.
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
/ this