Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.
omfg_creepers 8
Nerdgasm?
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Comments (123)
gntfmlingnow 12
Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.
johnnyshred612 4
Thank God, I thought I was the only one who played that game sensually. I leaf through the manual for foreplay.
alexup24 13
Don't even get me started on the sound the case makes when you open it, and the plastic cover being ripped off for the first and only time.
ColdplaySucks 18
Im gonna miss you, D2 LoD.
TwiztedYuri 9
Hardcore gamer
baddawg365 0
16- Your profile pic looks like its making sex face.
xgirlofglassx 4
36 - That's the Sweet Jesus rage face... Which is more or less a sex face.
alexup24 13
I chose it specifically for this comment
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Diablo - the inspiration to my username :-)
omfg_creepers 8
Nerdgasm?
TarieBoo 2
#2 couldnt have said it better.....
sarahrocrocrocks 5
HAHAHAHA!!!!! XD
TarieBoo 2
oh gosh im so stupid i ment to post that comment(18) on #13's comment
2oc 5
Why would you say #2 if you wanted it on #13's comment? The damage is done, i wouldn't bother trying to fix it.
TarieBoo 2
56- because later 13 posted the same thing as #2
LadyJoker21 0
Hahaha
ArielTheMermaid 17
Dang I meant to thumb number 2 up
corinna12124 0
U can change it #97
MonsterCommenter 4
Popped an uncontrollable boner? Thats about as good as fuckball....
Isoldael 27
For anyone who didn't get that - it was from another FML where OC (original commenter) commented on the amazing word fuckball. I guess he found another fun thing to say :)
MonsterCommenter 4
^ Thank you for clarifying. I thought fuckball was really cool and fun to say, and "popped an uncontrollable boner" was up there with it. My original comment is getting thumbed down because people dont know where i got that from. :(
Il_Maestro 6
Fuckballs and uncontrollable boners... More fun to say than to have
Isoldael 27
And we turned your score positive -high five-.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
some people think of naked women to get a boner. others think of **** scenes. you listen to video game music. each to their own!
cuddlebunny3548 11
I think he meant as soon as his roommate starts playing his video games and is distracted, he starts masturbating
DespairFaction 11
They come out of nowhere sometimes. The Penis truly does have a mind of its own.
biggmike 6
Some old video games of the 90s had music that sounds like **** music. I believe it was one of the streets of rage video games that I first heard have music that could be the background track for ****.
hornyrabbit12 8
I think if my dad to get a bonor
COOL__Coal 12
Either you secretly have an uncontrollable crush on your roommate or that music turns you on.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I'll go with the latter, but thanks Sherlock. We never would have come to that conclusion without your masterful deductive reasoning!
marmlr339 14
Every guy would know this, and every girl could never understand. Random boners. They happen anytime, anywhere and without reason and they are so difficult to get rid of.
baddawg365 0
They are like ninja-rections. They appear out of nowhere...
twisted_cherub 14
26- Girls may not understand, but women do. We sometimes get all moist for no reason at all. Most of us understand the random boners guys get. We have been through biology class. Also, it wasn't random at all. Pavlov's dog, people; it's a trained reaction.
randomhangul 4
I understand ._. mainly because I have an older brother. Well that and I also am 17 and am not an idiot :)
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#81 - Do you talk with your brother about random boners or something? I don't have any brothers, but I sure as hell understand that boys get uncontrollable boners for no apparent reason and that is is normal. Not 'cause I'm seventeen nor 'cause I'm not an idiot, but because I'm pretty sure it's just ******* common knowledge.
marmlr339 14
44 - fair enough - point taken. Well at least women don't have anything to hide when it happens to them.
CaptTeemo 10
Every one should be excited when they see me. Captain Teemo on duty.
fuzz97 23
go away.
SloppyFlamingo 4
I guess not very many people on here play LoL... I thumbed you up.
CaptTeemo 10
Yeah, I guess I should stay quiet and just let Diablo III players have their fun :( haha
fenixtorador1 11
1337 name Teemo, I play LoL as well
griffy14 9
He got thumbed down bc he's teemo. Kind of like how phreak always gets massive thumbs down on the forums regardless of what he says.
hockeyoceancity 13
What happens when you hear the theme song to your favorite TV show? You ejaculate?
KeyboardWarrior 10
I don't know, them square pants sound mighty fine to me...
Rowdey 10
Don't even get me started on the lady fairy of Timmy Turner..
hockeyoceancity 13
I may be the only one but i have a love for the show Adventure Time.
Wicked361 8
27-the "lady fairy" is named Wanda...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I wanna be the very best..." ******
NoReservations 9
33- I have a hardcore crush on Marshall Lee, on the opposites episode of Adventure Time. He was Marceline's opposite, and he was hot.
hockeyoceancity 13
That show is amazing. I don't know how it's made for kids, it is so trippy! Did you see the hug werewolf? lmfao! "he hugged me so hard last night i'm sore everywhere"
NoReservations 9
Lol, I haven't seen it yet! but they say things like sexy and pissed I'm pretty sure.. and Gunther was "preggers" in one episode. I'm 16 though, so kids-level or not, I'm still going to watch it XD
NoReservations 9
53- Like no one ever wasss! To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cauuusssee! POKÉMON!
NoReservations 9
Wtf? Is there someone stalking me just to thumb down my every comment?
hockeyoceancity 13
Lol i'm 17 and i find kid's show more amusing then "adult" shows. Sponge bob is amazinf too. You should defiently go on ondemand and watch hugwolf one or on youtube or whatever lol. The hell one is cool too also the "leech king" is one of the better ones ugh i feel like a nerd... Let me know how you like them if you do watch them lol.
mandadarling 10
That's awesome that your body automatically senses when you might have privacy.. At least you don't get uncontrollable boners at everything else!
supimnyancat 9
One of the effects of Diablo 3.
hockeyoceancity 13
I really hope that didn't seriously take you 10 minutes to type.
Althenias 0
hope you were wearing jeans, random boners suck
TarieBoo 2
i hope he wasn't standing behind a kid that was at hip level._.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Ow! My head! Why'd you hit me mister?" Op: whoops.