Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
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Top comments
thantomaniac 0
That SOUNDS funny as hell.
MwahFMLS 6
Grab her boob and sing nyan cat? Meowmeowmeowmeow
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Comments (220)
Shankillbutcher 0
You call that a problem? I'd get down and dirty with her everytime she says that. IN PUBLIC.
jlperry31 10
do something back to her as embarrasing. nothing to be embarrassed about. some hottie grab my junk or if i saw a hottiw getting his junk grabbed id expect to see the boner. ive got one now just typing this and thinking about junk being grabbed :)
DirtyVic 3
If you don't like it, dump her. Otherwise, grow a pair and let your girl grab your junk, then stuck your hand down her blouse and say "damn baby, your a handfull"
cudidecated 0
I say stuff like that. I think it's cute. Lol. :3
blackman100 20
You know why she thinks it is "funny as hell?" cuz it is!
WutzButz 3
After reading about half of the comment i was never so disgusted reading fml like I'm today. All of you saying this is funny, how about imaging you standing with an boner in an public place because your grilfriend thinks it's funny? She is an ignorant little bitch and doesn't deserve to even have an boyfriend. Switch the genders for example: boyfriend grabbing her **** in public, making the nipples stand up, because it's funny. Everyone here would suddenly sing a different tone. I'm so ******* fed up with people thinking disrespectful behavior is suddenly ok because it's done to men.
princess151617 4
Lmfao.....! I would do it too lol cuz it would be funny as hell
kaitidid16 0
your girlfriend is a genius ;)
BFit 0
You get hard after just that!? What are you 12!?
seriouslife 2
This situation is funny as hell. It would be hilarious to do that to your boyfiend in public...:)