Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
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Top comments
mickymoose1 15
maybe limit seeing her to non public areas until she matures.....
HokieJ 10
you are supposed to meow at a kitty!
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Comments (12)
mickymoose1 15
maybe limit seeing her to non public areas until she matures.....
TxKitten 8
Ha! You have a brat on your hands. look into BDSM, abd look up definitions of "brat" in that context.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Brats understand consent and they the behavior should be at home or in private. Sure there’s some stuff that’s okay in public but that ***** not. This lady is NOT someone you want representing BDSM and such.
TxKitten 8
I agree about consent. Tgats why I recommend ded he look into it and present the idea to her.
TxKitten 8
p.s.- she knows its inappropriate behavior, and thinks it's fun and funny (and honestl, its friggin hilarious). Maybe promise to "punish" her if she does it again....going back to the BDSM thing. I honestly wonder if she might be into that if presented with it.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Yep, I agree with the BDSM thing. If you could keep a rolled up newspaper with you at all times during mall visits (like a good owner would), you could spank her ass for being a bad doggie right there and then. Then get ready to have your world rocked...
TxKitten 8
I hadn't even thought of that part!!! Nice! Thats something my Sir would do!
Iamthebanzai22 21
Also, you should get her a butt- plug with a tail on it.
TxKitten 8
Love mine. it's a fox tail. But it's not worn in public.
RichardPencil 32
Then, just give the dog a bone! After you both get out of jail, she'll get the point!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Turn the tables. Bark at her vag in front of her parents.
HokieJ 10
you are supposed to meow at a kitty!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Depends on how rough you want it.
HokieJ 10
Is she into some crazy shit in the bedroom? Ruff ruff!
DarkAngelsBlade 25
How about ex girlfriend? Because she’s breaking consent rules for you and for everyone around. It’s just not signs of a healthy relationship or safe person to be with.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Well, maybe she doesn't know about that stuff yet and she just knows she has some deep urges to fulfill and she doesn't know how to breach the subject with OP in any other way. I also am not in favour of public, unconsented plays, btw, but we are not all FetLife veterans, sadly. Also, I notice that OP is from Islamabad so who knows what level of communication exists in this dynamic.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Maybe you’re right about the not knowing it needs consent, but do you really think someone who is completely unaware would actively respond with they’d do it again? Would try it out in public FIRST? I mean, that’s just simple consent and appropriate time knowledge. She didn’t even have the decency to feel bad for upsetting him in any way.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Yes, I do agree that, once she was informed about how embarrassing this is to OP she should have at least apologized or explained why she did it. I was initially thinking exhibitionist. It looks like some kind of attention seeking behavior or, at the very least, immaturity. Dunno, OP, have you been stingy with the attention lately?
bl3ur0z3 17
She can't if you don't go out with her anymore.
DoctorPALO 14
I do not think this is BDSM-related AT ALL. That behavior is childish and immature, not "bratty." Goodness, even an idiot would know to keep that in the bedroom or at least at home.
Iamthebanzai22 21
It is ******* hilarious though.