Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thatonekid2010 0
mmmm cheeseburger :)
wasup21 0
lmao. did you get it supersized?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
thatonekid2010 0
mmmm cheeseburger :)
Shookitup 0
well...does food just make you horny?? because he should whisper "treadmill" in your ear -_-
GamerCon 0
You're pretty =D
moofin123456 0
Hahah next thing you'll know he'll whisper "would you like fries with that?" ;]
GavinRoskamp 0
5, you are my idol now! :D Honey.... Boooobies. *moans*
heyred 11
I would moan over cheeseburger, too. But if you moan over something such as 'toilet brush,' you're sick!
hghiPigh 0
ydi for not being able to afford a place of your own.
White_Fury 0
Your husband is lucky that it takes no work to turn you on. Did you always get horny when you were younger and friends whispered to you their secrets? lolcopter!
quent10 0
WIN win win win win WIN
luckymay 0
welcome to my faveriots :)
bigi_sherman 0
78- no, it's just you.
kriptonite_fml 0
*whispers* French fries with that.....
Master__Chief 0
well you know, i get turned on when i see cheeseburgers, just the thought of it brings weird sensations to me, so i dont blame you ;)
coffeefiend 0
And the pickles!
TheOriginalKyrs 0
sweet and sour sauce all over my body. and the pickles. and the PICKLES!!!!!
PhoenixFiend 0
lmao. Gross. Ronald McDonald visited my store and he's creepy enough. Let alone if he's whispering. (Yes, I work at the horrid place known as mcdonalds)
1121osu2110 0
y r u living with someone and married? that's strange...
TYPiCALNiCOLE69 0
hahaha FML , not about the fact people are laughing at you , the fact that I could say ; silly unicorns in your ear & you'd get turned on , lmaooo.
Vehicle 1
#12 I actually know someone in that position. I don't know why everyone is freaking out.
slayrsamantha 0
how is this an fml?..
astarwarsfan 0
can I haz a cheezeburger?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
mmmmmmmmm cheeseburger
meintx2001 1
#5 pretty & smart. that's hot. :)
bamditzki 0
ydi for turning on cause of food, no offense to fat ppl
xBangOut 4
You totally fell for that, awesome :D
tweetbaby14 18
when does telling someone they should have someone else whisper "treadmill" in their ear make a person smart?
ZleveL 0
123 it's "I can haz cheezburgur?" not "can I haz cheezburgur" GOSH
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
112: Why is that weird? It's not like they share a bedroom. Having housemates can be a financially wise decision; they can help pay the mortgage, or the rent so you can save for a mortgage. It works as long as everyone understands and respects boundaries. Separate bathrooms help too. ;)
yashack 0
(whispers in ear) wrinkly penis.........
Brookie_91 0
I don't think it's cheeseburgers that necessarilly turn her on. Some people just like it when their sig. other whispers in their ear. No biggie
junglemonkey 0
ew..
noshatsherlockk 15
caress me with pickles
abihae 0
100 - you win. lol
ernodea 0
him: blue waffle. you: oooooooooohhhhhhh yaaaaaa
JPalmer94 0
lol
kitty0910 0
ok #100 quoting Dane Cook is funny, but it's sweet and sour sauce on my p*ssy (not body) Remember your coups to get into the BK Lounge
xPedobear 0
FAKE! I saw one just like this earlier
llZombiell 5
lol thats exactly what I was thinking. damn you dane cook
Neonnight 0
Who gamercon?
wasup21 0
lmao. did you get it supersized?
ninjanate 0
burger.mmm. urban dictionary is your friend
cartedor 18
You fries with that?
Jonathan Martin 7
oh she definitely got it supersized
sorcerersinger 0
everyday? I thought it happened today...
mtl_gtrst1723 0
that's what I was about to say. OP it's ok if u get turned on by cheeseburgers. what's not ok is that ur married and u got a roommate
socalduude879 1
that's a bit awkward no? being turned on by the mention of food...hate to see what happens when you come face to face with a cheeseburger x]
MadPercussion 0
roflpwnzorz
megh90 0
Eewwww, hetero sex. D:
PhoenixFiend 0
It was the fact that he whispered in her ear that turned her on. He could have said anything, which is what OP was saying. She's got the ear curse.
Lisa89 3
The point is she gets turned on by him wispering ANYTHING. It doesn't have to be food related duuh. He would have said 'holocaust' and she would have still moaned
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Oh God, wouldn't wanna see the outcome of that one.
eggjuggler 0
Relax... it's a bad economy, plenty of people have roommates. You save money where you can. Maybe they're young newlyweds? Maybe their roomie is a close friend that needed a place to live? Or maybe they're just laid back enough to do what makes sense to get by.
Altoreto 0
I wonder wat wud happen if u listened to the whisper song
Einthe 0
Especially if she had headphones on.
ZP3T3R50N 0
any girls want my msn message me
Granddragon 0
^^^^CREEPER ALERT! Somebody call Chris Hansen.
OwNowBrownCow 0
I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. We are doing a special on computer predators. Why don't you take a seat on that stool over there?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
May I push your stool in? ^^
Shookitup 0
.....I don't talk to guys I don't know 0.0
OwNowBrownCow 0
I have the transcripts.
supergirl69_fml 0
is it just me or does Chris Hansen look a bit like a predator as well... just saying
zuluz 0
ejaculation= random comment
supergirl69_fml 0
thanks 85 :)
Jizwold 0
super girl I'm gona grape u in the mouth
OwNowBrownCow 0
No can haz cheezeburger.