Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
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Top comments
intensitive 11
I would have spit it in her face.
ricosuave1106 0
sounds like a great mom...
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Comments (153)
ricosuave1106 0
sounds like a great mom...
tysta 0
Op your dumb for not realizing that.....
boopityboppity 11
*you're dumb
Soybean254 0
another person that feels the need to correct somebody... anyways that's funny
PandasRtheShit 0
You should have spit it in her face
boopityboppity 11
No, I was just saying that if you're going to call someone else stupid, then you should at least show that you aren't yourself. That's why I put "*you're dumb" as opposed to simply "*you're."
ImaginaryFoe 1
It was probably an oversight. I almost did this same type of thing to myself today. She likely forgot.
boopityboppity 11
Could be, ImaginaryFoe. Sorry, trysta, if this is the case. I still don't think she had any right to call the OP dumb for not realising.
JoshTheMaggot 8
^ she's hot. XD I like her hair. and OP that's horrible. ydi for not making ure mom quit smoking. fyl but get her to stop smoking
ILikePopCorn 0
YDI for being thirsty and not realizing the difference between the weight of actual soda and ashes, cigarets.
toxic10uhc 0
I would have poured it on her head....
dinoxchrist 0
*realizing. oh, the irony [:
dinoxchrist 0
^ was directed @ 56.
dingdong666 0
@86 I'm pretty sure we spell realising with the s in Britain. I could be wrong though.
boopityboppity 11
It is spelled that way in Britain. That's a common mistake, though. I know, I know, I don't live in Britain. My grammar and spelling books were all British back when I was homeschooled.
Apache_fml 0
how could she realize that if there was a lid ontop? see u got to think of all the possibilities man!
samantha_durano 6
yuum.
jollykilla704 0
pour it in her lap
michael32123 0
#62's pic gave me wood
wizzard_fml 0
[morality mode on] @131 wtf?? she was born in 1992; unless you're a minor too... enough said. And why didn't anyone moderate his comment?? tsk tsk... [/morality]
dinoxchrist 0
i didn't realize that @ #90. my apologies; i fail.
GeneralCha 3
@ 140. Good job being the bigger person and actually apologizing.
FYLFMLFAL 0
that's when u play it of cool and tell her to take a drink
intensitive 11
I would have spit it in her face.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
That's why social services took you away a long time ago.
Franky8D 0
1stt!!
Asstazztic 8
Your mom is awesome :D
purgarus 6
Uhhh how is that awesome?!?!?
dofoos 0
you mom is a bitch. sorry
rwac07 0
disgusting
thedaish 0
The same thing happened to my brother! He was two though...
mrzero 0
she proboly forget.
Fedor_is_KING 0
She probably forgot. Or maybe she just doesn't like you that much.
gunta 0
That's like... gay
Fedor_is_KING 0
I doubt very much the taste of cigarette ash and soda is like a gay experince .... I could be wrong though, haven't done either.
Boddmon 0
You didn't know??? You're missing out! Come over to my place, I'll show you ;)
Fedor_is_KING 0
Mmm, I do love pineapples though...
Nosecandy 0
Tasty.
iSwag 0
pineapple express
elledubb 0
flash backs of little Nicky and Hitler!!
Boddmon 0
Oh come on pendatic, you know you want to come too.
Boddmon 0
It's not as fun with the baby ones.. aren't you man enough to take the king-sized ones??
Boddmon 0
NO! I'll serve wine...
Boddmon 0
Hey man, what the hell?! I waited and waited all weekend but you never showed! I had to diddle those pineapples all by myself.
AluraShadowHunte 0
youch, well did you forget her birthday or something ?