Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
yummycupcakegirl 0
Turn on the lights next time.
yeppers6502 0
why would you wear a new outfit around your puking son? not exactly a bright idea...
nimrod24 0
turn the ******* light on, retard. let me guess, ur name is Jeffey and u can count to potato? you totally deserved that one.
ninofrank 0
Instead of geting a bowl from the kichen you should show him the bowl in the bathroom
keloidformer 0
ummmm....lightswitch?
bigwill722 0
should've used a light switch
NJMikeP 0
are you really so stupid you can't tell the difference between a pot and a strainer? and are you even more stupid to not know how to turn on a light? I feel bad for your kid
Kawaiichan42 3
You kinda deserve it. I mean, it's not that difficult to flip a light switch. I do see why he wanted to get something for his kid to puke in, though. He's a little kid, and they don't always make it to the bathroom when they have to puke. When I was growing up we had a small bucket that we used only for vomiting in. Not sure why anyone would wear new clothes around a vomiting child. It takes like 3 minutes to change your clothes, and I'm sure the kid will be fine for those three minutes.
alexFYL 11
We had a bucket too, or a paper bag lined with plastic bags. A bowl would be way too small to puke in. One time at the hospital after surgery, I suddenly had to puke (blood in my stomach) and I grabbed one of those curved urinal things and the vomit just overflowed and sprayed everywhere.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
OP had to have been reaching for a mixing bowl if (s)he confused it with a strainer. I can't imagine a 5-year-old filling a mixing bowl with vomit.
Kawaiichan42 3
That's what I thought, too. I can't imagine Op confusing a cereal bowl for a strainer.
RedPillSucks 33
He was probably on his way to work, hence the new clothes.
savfd645 7
turn the f***in light on you dipstick... YDI