Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Classic mistake
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Chain reaction
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
What's cooking?
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Sights, sounds, smells
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
Who gave him that?
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Barf
Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Top comments
DrafteeSelf 24
Better that than having him puke on you and his brand new super cute outfit
Rykers 18
Now that's commitment.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
DrafteeSelf 24
Better that than having him puke on you and his brand new super cute outfit
TheNoNameGuy 20
I don't think he likes the outfit
Rykers 18
Now that's commitment.
petalbird 10
where were you changing him that had no sink, toilet, bin facilities?
Felinefine 14
In the middle of my living room floor on his changing mat. ?
domolovesyoshi 33
You don't have a bin in your living room?
mezochan 29
I don't have a bin in my living room, it's pretty common not to.
Bearsmomma 30
If you were home you shouldn't have to just hold it. Go to the sink and wash. I'm sure he would be fine alone for that, especially since he was on the floor and not in danger of rolling/falling from furniture. You should be a pro in those situations after 6 months of parenthood.
LordVaper 14
If you were in the middle of living room why not get up and get rid of it instead of sitting down with handful of puke?
Felinefine 14
Yes of course, I simply sat there all day and night with this handful of puke, and it never occurred to me to move somewhere and wash it off. In fact I still have the same hand full of the puke right now.
ThongWarrior 17
Savage
Maat_Attack 7
No need to be so snarky OP. The way you have the Fml worded, that is exactly what it sounds like you did. Hence why it would be an FML. You said you had to sit there with puke in your hands and no where to dump it. Logical response to that is "well why didn't you get up and dump it somewhere"
almost_there44 26
I don't think she's being snarky. She was in the living room and not in a place where she could have dumped it. We know that FML limits words when doing submission...that's why they have follow-up's. And if she would have said I dumped it in the kitchen sink, it wouldn't have been a FML.
InfiniteSunshine 32
I understand what OP's saying. My mom has experienced the same thing when my sister was younger. She managed to catch it all in her hand, but she was upstairs feeding my sister in her room, with no sinks or toilets nearby. So it's sitting in your hand and makes it really hard to move without spilling and getting it everywhere, my mom actually had to call me to get her a towel because she couldn't move. That's probably what OP meant by "sit there with puke in my hands and nowhere to put it."
zeffra13 31
There's a difference between those situations though. If you're feeding a baby then you're likely leaning back with the baby on top of you, so you'd have to lean forward to get up, maybe have to set the baby down, and probably spill. If you're changing a baby on your living floor, the baby is already set down and you're leaning over it, making it (relatively) very easy to get up or knee shuffle to a trash can or sink. You could have even carefully moved your baby off the changing mat, dumped the puke there, and carried the mat to the sink.
riahlum 12
No logical response is that is was cleaned up, i mean if youre submitting fmls before you clean it up somethings wrong. The fml is they caught a handful of vomit which is flat out gross.
unluckyblackcat9 8
On the bright side you saved the outfit !:)
hey_micky 8
i have a 4 year old and ive done this more times than i can count. you get used to it, and its easier to wash your hands than the couch
Couch_Potato 17
well where were you that you had no place to dump it
ashatash 12
awe I'm sorry but you have true mommy instincts! Yay for saving the outfit
BabyCakes818 16
I think that was his way of saying the outfit was a no go...