Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
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Top comments
whatshername?! 39
Bile soap is very effective against this kind of stains, I cleaned a lot of cloth diapers with it. Don't worry, it happens to most parents at some point. Mostly in the middle of the night or while you're at friends or somewhere else not at home ;)
RichardPencil 32
The Yakov Smirnoff style has come back! In Soviet Union, poop throws you away! Glad to see this old construct again -- not!
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You should probably throw the kid away, too. Hopefully, you'll diaper the next child better.
HereWeGo24 6
Maybe the father of the child you are talking about should throw you away
RichardPencil 32
The Yakov Smirnoff style has come back! In Soviet Union, poop throws you away! Glad to see this old construct again -- not!
whatshername?! 39
Bile soap is very effective against this kind of stains, I cleaned a lot of cloth diapers with it. Don't worry, it happens to most parents at some point. Mostly in the middle of the night or while you're at friends or somewhere else not at home ;)
Miss_Red 18
oh sweetie, I feel your pain. I have an almost two year old that I affectionately call 'Poo Picasso'... I put her Zip-up all-in-one backwards on her so she can't take it off. We both know why. My almost 10 year old was the same as a toddler and apparently my twin sister and I did it to our own mother as babies... I shudder to think how it would be like with two poopy toddlers instead of one lol
throwawayaccount1 4
throw the damn kid away (joking)