Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
drptLife 0
Lol at least you strained any big chunks out ha ha
chimps692001 0
Fake. Nuff said
alexFYL 11
Who pukes in a BOWL? And how can you not tell the difference between a bowl and a strainer? Either you are a retard of epic proportions, or this is fake...
Shinygirlnz 1
I love how to OP says 'the thing is, it was dark'... like 'well? What was I supposed to do about that?' Get an electrician in there ASAP and have a lightswitch installed. You won't believe the difference it makes.
vanaathiel 13
One, turn on a light. Two, if you're so upset about your precious outfit, why would you wear it while tending to your child who has a stomach bug?? Common sense....
moonmask 0
You know, there's this new invention called electricity. It does magical things like TURNING ON LIGHTS.
BlueTwist89 0
God, sexist assholes.
jkweenjkwrntjkrw 0
Oh take care of your kid and forget your clothing.
kirikochan 0
Turn on the lights....?
x3herox3 0
Something called lights