Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was your dad's semen mixed with either your mom's vaginal secretions or her saliva if she gave him a ******** and spat. YWIA, I am always glad to help people identify unknown bodily fluids.
nomnommonster 0
it was the syrup from their midnight snack.
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Comments (119)
BikerMike 0
that could have been your younger brother/sister
sam411411 0
tell them to stop spilling koolaid
FMLowLife 0
Ew... you might want to move out if they force YOU to have THAT job... if you have to see them every once in a while, you should 'come' to their place only once a week.
troyboyd05 0
So then you eated it right?
MidgetMonster 0
how was that your responsibility anyway?
michael32123 0
one time, I EATED something :) use teh propar grammur pl0x? engwish pwease
danman91 0
happy tissue lol
helo2 0
ftw ^
Tripout 0
For your sake, I hope they were clear boogers.
yourefreakindumb 0
Snot. All you guys are pervs.
cartermc17 0
CUM!
LACandyshop 0
I bet I can tell you what that sticky substance is...
victorioustunnel 0
#75 you are REALLY pretty holy shit...
PimhNL 3
1
awesomechica1229 5
is your picture really a pic of a cats ass hole?
moneypenny_fml 0
if it's unknown then your life isnt ******, but of course you know it was your dads ****, so just say that unless you don't want to and are in denial about it.
benito_fml 0
what if it's their moms **** 0.o
mattthew 0
hum... your parents still have fun though... atleast you didn't walk in on them
ImaginaryFoe 1
Yep. Ask your parents to pay you for babysitting them.
noshtsherlock 0
hahahaha!!!!!!! FUNNNYYYEESSTTT shit i've read today
KingTaco 0
Uhhh. No you ******* did not have to pick that shit up, hope you're aware of that.
sublimaze 6
YDI for messing with your parents' trash
Oze6000 4
YDI for picking that shit up, lol
xshadyshadow 0
2, why do you have "animal parts" as your icon???
perdix 31
It was your dad's semen mixed with either your mom's vaginal secretions or her saliva if she gave him a ******** and spat. YWIA, I am always glad to help people identify unknown bodily fluids.
mshafty 0
Don't forget there could be some sweat mixed in there. Mom could have been working hard on dad and then gotten a nice jackson pollock on her face that had to be wiped up!!
doink 0
I wish I knew of your prowess the day I had to clean sticky fluids off the men's bathroom wall at work. Luckily, I put 2 and 2 together...
ayamefan13 16
I feel dumb for asking, but what's YWIA?
doink 0
You're Welcome In Advance.
mshafty 0
Very true! the substance could get substantially more complicated also if a strap on was involved! Does mom like take charge and make dad a bottom OP?
Averizzle 0
Seriously? Wow..
DGross 8
Perdix comment threads are always the best... no one mentioned nasal secretions yet... perhaps he has really good aim... or is really small
Sunset_Taco 0
alrenatively, ur dad had a runny nose.
awesomechica1229 5
@2 is your profile pic really one of a cats ass hole? WOW!
myownenemy 0
ummm, he didn't find evidence of that; he IS evidence of that.
coffeeshawtee 0
@ #7 Ah, shut up, you wouldn't want to pick your parents $h!t up, I know for a fact. Unless you plan on being a pedo when you get older & you're into that junk. She wasn't complaining. She was stating, "F!CK MY LIFE". That's what this website is for dumb @$$. You're the one complaining. At least that wasn't me, 'cause I would've been raising H3ll.
nomnommonster 0
it was the syrup from their midnight snack.
aardvarkish 17
facts of life
jinky58 0
this^^^
icifresh911 0
Lol!!! @ #8
jinxthejinx 0
NO, YOU DIDN'T. i'll say it again... FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, NO, YOU DIDN'T!
spez86 0
the OP is the evidence ^^
benen 0
it was toothpaste
Domonator 16
Did you sniff it, too? Taste it?? Why touch the sticky stuff at all? Why not just use a clean tissue to pick it up?
amber30300 0
I feel stupid for asking but wats OP mean?
dashizam 10
Something poster.
PsychoMerk 0
you didn't HAVE to ;0