Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
nana2255 0
what about a garbage can? :/
outsidehitter7 9
why the hell would u wear a new outfit while taking car off a sick kid???
xgetxbentx 13
ydi for not turning on the light? duh..
anaiikatoumenos 0
I probably wouln't have turned on the light either if I were in OP's situation. the ligjtswitch and sink area are on completly different sides of the room. but still, I would have felt the holes all over the strainer.
chilllls 0
so were to believe you grabbed a strainer and A) didn't feel the holes while carrying it. B) it may have been dark in the kitchen, and apparently the whole house because you did not notice it was a strainer once you left the kitchen. I'm calling your bluff. lies!
labacanitaz 0
so i guess the lightbulb was just invented because he was bored .
fewf 5
Wait so you didnt grab a trash can or make him sit by the toilet to throw up?
dsypher 0
have you heard of this new invention called a light bulb?
k9obsessed 5
Gee, maybe you should have turned the light on. It only takes a split second to flip a light switch. YDI for being stupid enough not to realize that.
dayday08 0
let there be light. lmfao.