Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
I bet that strained your relationship.
catnip216 0
Hey, he grabbed the first thing he saw that looked like a bowl, then actually took it into the bathroom *while* you were having diarrhea. He may not be the brightest guy in the world, but he tried. You puked in it, afterall, so you didn't notice at first either.
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Comments (189)
JocelynKaulitz 28
That's not good
MissBunny25 0
Oh don't be such an ungrateful bastard, OP. He was helping you strain the chunks from the liquid. Be a little more sensitive next time -.-
khaya 9
Now you get to see what you ate.
topie_fml 6
bwahahaha...whoops at lest he tried i guess.
sterlingarcher 1
lol wow at least he tried
iTaylor 0
Wow, you actually have a really good boyfriend seeing as he was willing to go into the stinky bathroom and help you out by getting you a bowl.
aquariusangel420 0
Your boyfriend is a ******* I D I O T!!! Find another boyfriend that actually has brains lol not this loser! Either he really is stupid or he did it on purpose to be a DICK either way you deserve waaaaaaay better!!!
littlemissFYL 5
^^ why do you always have CAPS when you write a comment, make it the longest paragraph ever, and it's always nonsense. either your REALLY STUPID OR DO IT TO BE A DICK.
sterlingarcher 1
56 maybe he was in a hurry and grabbed the first thing he saw so she didn't puke everywhere
NeatNit 33
topie love your picture!
comepoopwithme 0
like her spaghetti
trixy81 10
thanks tips...
latest 0
Hahahahahahaha
kcluna 6
Wow... he's a keeper!!
sephoraprincess 7
atleast your vomit made a pretty
sephoraprincess 7
at least your vomit made a pretty pattern! keep it as house decor!
Redneck68 0
captain obvious strikes again
atthegates 0
your boyfriend is a ******* asshat
TheMystery_fml 6
I was going to say something sexist, but nahh
FailBear920 19
Why wouldnt you just puke in the toilet?
demonwolfmaster 26
she was on the toilet with the runs didn't read that part did you?
largefoofighter 0
just cuz you have a mustach doesnt mean you can speak italian
clarissa_Gyall 0
uhmmmm what??
nunsrtight69 0
abapadabupy!
dgr8ing 0
that was what I thought he said too hey! gvzfjktfzsghcsyu mustache man!
uncbballwins 0
He was just trying to get leftovers from last night's spaghetti!
BrokenDreamer24 15
That's just nasty...
boydeee01 7
no... just shut up
boydeee01 7
no... just shut up
omg_a_BALLOON 0
no... just shut up.
skillinization 0
lol
dre_bro11 12
Yer OP! Separate the chunks from the liquid, and dinners served! Don't have to worry bout cooking.
YacL 15
"I'm disgusting? You're the one who pulls toads out of your vagi--"
partygril378 0
WOW!!!!! u learned how 2 copy & paste!!!! u r an asshole & fail at life! I liked it!!
porridge111 6
hhhahaahhahaha
raeka 1
sorry but I'm calling BS here. there's no way you could puke in one of those and not notice the holes...
DocBastard 40
How about if you're so sick, you can barely see straight? What if she had her eyes closed while she was vomiting? What if she didn't give a **** what it was as ling as it was something to vomit into? How about you not yelling "FAKE!" unless you were there.
Calyx_fml 22
Now you can reheat the chunky bits and eat them again!
ydi_4_suking 20
the food was probably so good he wanted you to try the unchewed parts again
chloe2114 4
blech, I just threw up in my mouth at the thought of this... :/
sheagstaz 0
WIN
Miouya 0
I wonder if he mistook it for a bowl or he ment to give it to you :P
randiZ25 0
you really think so...? weird...
TigerBloodGirl15 0
BTW if it was falling on the floor in dots and it looked like a bowl its a colinder (not sure how to spell) not a spaghetti strainer
NerdybutHot 3
It's not out of the realm of possibilities, but he seems like he is captain of the fail-boat for not noticing something like that. Or maybe he had something else on his mind and had a "special moment." Only OP would know though.
babyyappld 7
either your boyfriend was playing a prank or he's really dumb
Predental 5
That would be a terrible prank. I think he is plain dumb.
Garytt 0
dumb prank see what I did there?
Randuhh_17 4
but wouldn't he have noticed the holes?..but who knows, people do weird things in a time of rush..
navy_brother95 0
duh lol
NaranjaLime 1
I was thinking the same thing!
Haiden_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How lovely. Maybe he was planing to eat the little bits of puke that didn't fall through the holes.
mikuxxhatsune 32
I LOVE UR PROFILE PIC SKDKJENSLDKKSJWKDKRW DEATHNOTE OMG SJDJSNKSS
purplecowchik 5
I guess spaghetti strainers don't make the best puke bowls. Next time you should probably use one without holes silly!!
jayalexander 7
capitols!!!!!!!
FreakoHolm 6
Troll much? She said that her boyfriend brought it to her :p
Purple_Princess0_fml 0
??
bigbadtim 7
I bet that strained your relationship.
horridromance 7
Ahhhh!
NerdybutHot 3
Well done sir!
crxb16 2
Win!
ismileiloveilol 0
haha nice one
atreyurock1992 0
omfg that's hilarious
atreyurock1992 0
omfg that's hilarious
atreyurock1992 0
omfg that's hilarious
atreyurock1992 0
omfg that's hilarious
rexku 0