Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
stevenmx86 8
That's disgusting you grabbed a bowl? Grab a garbage can... could have avoided this problem..
Barn312009 0
lol ya no shit... I've never once thought of pukin in a bowl
skylarbee 8
if your kids is sick why did you have a new outfit on?
IrishJohnnyMann 0
true didn't think of that! :)
worldclass 0
I don't even know how you accomplished that. My bowls dont have handles therefore I'd be forced to grab the "bowl" part.. realizing it's a strainer. Then again, I'm not dumb enough to wear new clothes around a sick child either.
xStiina 0
Can't you tell the difference with a bowl and a strainer? Why use a bowl.., that's gross. Wouldn't you get a bucket?
ulicksam 0
Big difference between a bowl and strainer, even in the dark. Who pukes in a bowl anyway? It would only splash out. YDI.
79DrAwkwArD97 0
You're the special type of idiot that "The Clapper" was invented for... if you can't be bothered to fond a light switch, you might consider this a solid investment...
LilaBear 2
ruined? Just chuck it in the wash. If you were wearing something un-washable, or a very delicate material, or a material that stains easily, well YDI for wearing that sort of thing around a sick kid who could potentially throw up on you (or elsewhere, that you'd have to clean up while wearing those clothes). I had three younger siblings, over our lives we threw up on all sorts of things - clothes, bedsheets, carpet - and none of it stained (although carpets took some scrubbing :P). And to all the people whinging about getting a bowl, get over it. Once you wash it with detergent it will be fine.
dstchuck 0
ur about ******* stupid
lidemocr 0
actually this reply is the most intelligent thing written this far
W4X 0
Bathrooms exist.
Thanateros 1
That's what the light switch is for, dumbass.
DocBastard 40
Am I missing something, or do you not own a toilet? If it's good enough for Jack Daniels, it's good enough for a stomach bug.