Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
aback 5
Why the hell are you wearing a new outfit if it's too dark to see?
Zebidee 9
Rubbish your outfit is ruined. Stop being such a drama queen and wash your clothes or get them dry cleaned.
Meeshiaa 7
This didn't happen to you on the 5th. I know this because i'm on this site apparently too much and moderated this exact post a while back. But, I guess i'll give you a high five for your persistence in getting this fml posted.
yummyhound 0
you had good intentions.
iheartglasses 0
I had a lot to say to this post but I realized it started to become a book... You deserve it in so many ways! Mistakes: light switch? Feeling the holes when touching the strainer? Not sitting in the bathroom with your kid? Youre the parent to a sick child..WEAR COTTON! When Im home with my kid Im wearing my mismatching pjs cause I know Im bound to get covered with food and snot. Please dont reproduce again...
crazypomgurl3 0
shouldn't have been wearing your brand new outfit around your sick child
lilponygurrl 0
it's not ruined just wash it....
tcj2010 5
uhm why a bowl why not a trash can or bag or something people dnt use to eat everyday !! smh
ZestyPotato 2
perhaps u shouldn't have worn ur new dress while tending to him, or u should turned the light on in the kitchen
bellem1122 0
why would u use a bowl? should u be using a disposable bag ? I can't imagine if u would still use e bowl after u knew puke was in it before..