Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
Mr_Zachary 0
Women are supposed to have kitchen-activated nightvision so they can still make sammiches if the power is out. Oh, you're a dude... I think.
nyrangers1022 6
shoulda jus put him in the bathroom
mz_booty 0
doubt it's a dude "it ruined my new outfit" doesn't sound like a dude to me... op eat carrots for night vision or turn the light on lol!!!
labratory5 0
wouldn't the kid notice
Mr_Zachary 0
13: The OP is "Hunter". Unless he/she is from Alabama or something, I would have to assume it's a man. Put up your real picture!
MaddaCheeb 0
Lol that's funny #1
QWERTYCommander 5
There was a girl in my elementary school named Hunter, and she lived in Pennsylvania. I think she's 12 or 13 now. Poor girl.
Shaebug12 0
a girl in my gym class is named hunter! and I know a guy named Bailey! and a girl named rob! and a guy and a girl (me) named Shae!!!
spaerro 8
so your outfit is more important than your son?
galt 13
Lights aren't that hard to look for.
ThunderLightTSV 31
I had a classmate named Ashley. He was a dude.
Judus_beej 0
shit happens...or puke...
mz_booty 0
or weeee's lol
mjcdsjf 0
Uh turn on a light? you Sir, fail.
alexiiiiis09 0
um comment on your own comment, sir you fail. ^
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
DisturbedCupcake 3
who the hell wears a new outfit around their kid if said child has a stomach bug? makes no sense. so YDI.
BloodyHeel 8
So you actually expect them to change their outfit instead of caring for their child? They should have neglected the child's need for care and nursing so they could take off their clothes and put something more appropriate on? That's ridiculous. You are a selfish inconsiderate person.
lidemocr 0
my thoughts exactly... OP is an idiot
Amgnowai 0
Don't worry, puke dresses will be "in" once Lady Gaga wears it.
ronton 4
take the kid to the bathroom, don't get a bowl.
anaiikatoumenos 0
I've never seen anyone but Lady GaGa wear what she does, to be honest.
Xmarshall16X 5
BloodyHeel is right lol, thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
1two3four5six 23
smart comment i've read in this entire page!! "turn on the lights, change outfit, and #102's comment which was retarded." c'mon. these ppl need to get BRAINS.
glutgyoogle 6
i know if i was sitting next to a puking kid I would wear my new outfit. because that makes sense.
polishbears 4
Maybe, the op had gotten dress for work, then found out about her kid being sick. You don't know there situation, so please try not to judge, or be rude. This goes for everyone.
mandomandomando 3
hmm wouldnt you notice though? :p
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
TexanDanny 2
exactly what i was thinking and i call fake, a strainer weighs no where near a bowl unless its a big ass strainer
grandpaearthling 2
hint for the next time. the one with holes leaks. heeheeheee
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why didn't you turn on a light? Does a strainer really feel like a bowl to you? Why were you wearing a new outfit to care for a sick child? YDI, YDI, YDI.
RedPillSucks 33
Obviously someone not used to being in the kitchen. Probably a guy.
frozenpoopsicle 0
ya, he should've just asked his woman that was making him a samwitch in the dark for it. ydi for not making the female do the lesser work.
chogle 8
really? do people dress accordingly to their child being sick? dick.
mikuxxhatsune 32
I agree but they probably just came back from shopping or an event so she was dressed nicely and then she just grabbed what was on hand and didn't have time to change outfits.
becbeyer 0
Whatever I have kids and it always comes out in the wash with napisan.
pickleguy 0
This is good! Now you can easily get to the chunks, without having to fish through all that stomach acid!
dre_bro11 12
ahaha ^ I was just gunna say that
sugarquill 0
You're more worried about your suit than your sick son?
chogle 8
he only threw up. it doesn't mean he is deathly sick or anything. I think OP has plenty of room to worry about her own wardrobe.