Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
Mister_Grinch 0
It's called a light switch. Turn it on.
ellie1993 3
you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O
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Comments (77)
spearodude 0
at least all the chunky bits were strained out and didn't stick to your clothes. the chunks are the worst part.
Sky1K 2
100th Comment.
Tommywx 3
How cant u tell the difference between a bowl and a ******* dress! a bowl is round a dress is big and shit
1two3four5six 23
ALL THE PEOPLE SAYING SHE SHOULD CHANGE HER OUTFIT, HER 5 YEAR OLD SON (that's BOY) WOULDN'T LEAVE HER SIDE. DO THE ****** MATH. and #102 she grabbed a strainer instead of a bowl. she was WEARING a dress. the vomit went through the strainer onto her new dress, retard!! and all the people saying turn on the lights, maybe the lights were on and they were just dim lights! anyway, if i were you i'd tell him to suck it up and go vomit into the toilet like a normal human being. i cant stand puke, i would NOT hold something for somebody else to THROW UP into.
bsmith84 0
Turn a light on? YDI.
BradenLock 4
YDI for wearing a new outfit while he wad sick in the first place :D
9R1NC3S5 0
Because turning on the light would have been too much of an effort? Meh, you deserved it.
TechBlaze 0
You're a dumb@ss.
chacha2726 0
Ahh the joy of kids!
kateskatekate 4
1. Why would you grab a bowl? You eat our of that! Get a trash can! 2. Wearing a new outfit with a really sick child is incredibly stupid. 3. There's a pretty big difference between a strainer and bowl.. Ya know, a strainer has a handle and holes? YDI.