Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
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Top comments
christopherwilli 14
If you throw away the rug, at least the clean up will be easy.
Xquisite1 28
At least the kid doesn't have retched aim. That fact is something that can't be repuked.
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Comments (43)
Xquisite1 28
At least the kid doesn't have retched aim. That fact is something that can't be repuked.
Welshite 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is exactly why my kids are shoved into single cell concrete rooms when I take care of them.
Grayness_ 26
I know you're being funny. But people that have kids aren't going to find this funny :/ You should know how the FML community is by now lol.
Lalala579121 28
This is exactly why I won't have kids.
C00kiesNcream 24
Kids will be kids, I'm sure it wasn't intentional. All part of the job right? Taking the good with the bad.
derangedplanet 23
I was a projectile vomiter as a kid. I was the kid who puked on your everything. I mean your life sucks, but I sympathize for the kid.
syngatesss 5
Hey OP, at least you can just toss the rug out!
AmIReallyRenee 20
and the kids...
JustinJK 21
Um. Idk. some rugs are really, really expensive. However, idk if I'd have expensive things that kids have access to ruin.
WitEluded 13
Doesn't this come with the territory of running a daycare out of your house?
DiamondGirl18 12
Easy clean up?
rvontr88 21
Kids = disease carriers. Ew.
thejonac 21
you were a kid before too.
tranced_ 45
ew?! really?
tranced_ 45
I guess yew don't have kids. .and yew shan't have kids. .
Lalala579121 28
14 - Yews don't have kids. They're trees.
I_Like_Dogs 28
Air=disease carrier, yet you still breathe.
AmIReallyRenee 20
not everyone likes kids... geez get off this person's ass about it
rvontr88 21
That comment is so incredibly asinine. oh and thank you #30. Preciate you.
christopherwilli 14
If you throw away the rug, at least the clean up will be easy.
TMWhisp 22
Kids got aim. At least he didn't spray everything around him?