Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
Welshite 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Bacon is never a wrong answer.
blaherman 12
If she didn't agree that bacon is the ultimate love, she isn't for you.
mario2012 18
Yes it is Welshite.
gracehi 33
What if the question is, "What is the worst thing ever?" Surely "Bacon" is the wrong answer then. Or maybe, "What DON'T you want on your sandwich?" "Bacon" would be the wrong answer then too, would it not?
Cazz91 21
May I suggest the next time you're set up for a trap OP, respond with something along the lines "you with bacon". Who knows, perhaps she may have brought you some bacon to make that ultimate love extra special. :)
Zebediabolical 45
Google 'bacon lingerie'. I dare you.
jococo7787 3
I found Lady Gaga...
tiernang 21
no, 27, those are wrong questions.
wallandpiece 16
Bacon is the flesh of an innocent animal that was slaughtered for no good reason other than to line the pockets and bellies of greedy people.
ch3s 4
#139, that is what makes it so tasty!
zgomon 10
#139, you must not come here often. FML is a community of bacon hungry people.
smokecloud_ 37
found the vegan.
Chelarie 9
#139, I have two pigs, one of their names is bacon.... Wanna guess what her future is? Yep, bacon! To line the bellies of my greedy family. I'd never line my pockets with her though, that's just creepy.
Goblin182 27
#139 need to except their place in the food chain.
Sandman366 6
I ordered a "Baconator", not a "Bacon Hater"! Cone on Wendy's, if I wanted 139...I'd say "Bacon is the best thing ever!!", then wait for him to come over and lecture me on his views.
lenehey 7
It's not innocent; it's delicious.
BirdieCurls 25
#139, The innocence gives it flavour!
Draconisraa 3
unless its in reply to the question of what to shove up your butt
JanisEvans 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But I mean, BACON! Awesome awesome bacon!
happle 21
I don't understand this obsession with bacon. Does everyone actually like it, or do most people say they do to look "cool?"
Odis12 11
We look cool because we like it.
gracehi 33
20, I think thousands of years in the future, archeologists will discover our restaurant menus, prints of bacon memes, and bacon inspired merchandise and think, "Damn. These people were obsessed with bacon."
JanisEvans 10
I'm paleo. For my kind bacon is like rocket fuel.
monnanon 14
your kind? you mean the kind that has ignored thousands of years of evolution just to miss out eating bread? unless you are actively foraging and hunting you do not have a paleo diet.
SaySayGurl 10
Bacon is hardly ever an acceptable excuse.
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
stephenseiber1 22
I agree... Women tend to ask a question indirectly instead of being straight forth... She wanted you to say you love her more then anything... Including bacon
firefighter925 18
No no no bacon was the right answer
XxQueenofPuppets 10
Nah.. I personally as a girlfriend would have agreed that bacon is an acceptable answer no matter what the circumstance is
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, didn't God put a prohibition on eating bacon? *number of non-believers just grew*
Zebediabolical 45
Any God who tells me I can't eat bacon is a false prophet!
wolfman2123 13
Yeah I'm with #3 sometimes it's ok to lie
MyUsernameKatie 31
Agreed 56. I don't care if my boyfriend loves bacon a little more than me. I'm vegetarian, but damn, bacon is good.
leonchen7498 12
>vegetarian >eats bacon wat did i just read
Afroninja4566 21
You are a special type of retarded aren't you
nentenkupo 19
maybe wasn’t always a vegetarian?
blaherman 12
I see nothing wrong with loving bacon more than anything else.
worldclassrager 41
Never say that...even though it is true...she was trying to be cute and you didn't give the right answer...well to her the wrong answer...
worldclassrager 41
Well to her the right answer*
CelticReverie 5
Yes well maybe o.o but the girl doesn't have a sense of humor at all if she got mad at him for this silly thing :( ah well...people are all different I guess
fakedsincerity 32
no she was fishing for compliments.
sniken 14
She's obviously not very good at fishing! Heck, next time I'm out fishing and it doesn't bite I'll throw my entire rod in just to express my anger for the fish not taking the bait!
georgeee97 9
Bacon is ALWAYS the answer. If your woman can't handle that, find another woman.
SemiAuto 21
You can never go wrong with bacon.
ratherblunt 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Insecure and clingy. Move on to the next, one who has a sense of humour and loves bacon.
GLaDOS8899 14
Agreed.
heliophobia 13
You don't tell your girlfriend that you literally love a piece of meat more than her.
Ins0mau 20
You do if it's bacon.
makersmarkmike 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least bacon doesn't have a ******!
youllnvrkno 8
If bacon had a ******, there would be no need for human interaction.
evan_7899 28
Words can't describe how right you are