Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Don't attempt this
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Work it
Today, after a full year of vigorous exercise 7 days a week, and a strict diet of vegetables, fruits, and water, I can proudly say that I've lost half a pound. FML
Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML
Doctor time!
Today, and over the past six months, after 20+ years of habits aiming at not gaining weight and succeeding in doing so, I've suddenly LOST a lot of weight at 40 years-old due to bad circumstances. No matter how hard I try or how much I eat, my system just seems to have forgotten how to build fat. FML
Muscle mass?
Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML
No pain, no gain
Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML
Weight is just a number
Today, I was proud of going to the gym 3 times a week (instead of once a week) to get in relative shape. I even started doing light cardio and (I thought) started to eat better. I've gained six pounds, despite watching what I eat and even increasing the resistance on the exercise bike that I use. FML
Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML
Yoyo
Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML
Today, while at my mom’s house, my mom told me that I need to seriously curb my food intake. Then I went to my dad’s house and he told me I need to gain weight. I can’t win here. FML
Top comments
BuhZinga 2
How long have you been on your new diet/workout plan? Have you been keeping track of your measurements? You do know new muscle weighs more than lost fat, right? and if you weighed yourself the same day as your buffet, the added weight is just food in your intestines. Why do people always associate successful health plans with numbers on a scale?
Doortje 30
How long have you been dieting? If you really haven't lost any weight perhaps you should see a doctor.
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Comments (305)
ipod_fml 0
see a doctor!!
BahahahLOL 0
Thanks for reminding me of that shitty song..
DiamondFinish 0
No screw the doctor. Start hitting the crack pipe. Guaranteed to work or your money back.
vgameson 0
I screwed a doctor once and your right it didn't do anything for my weight
BAMF18 0
shut up loose legs. no one cares.
stephanie911_fml 0
Maybe she/he have thyroid problems.
MyNameIsBruce 0
In the famous words of the dearly departed Man Show: "Ive found a cure for obesity! It's called Stop eating so damn much!"
styphon 5
I care 78. maybe you just have to try it a few more times?
sterlingarcher 1
omfg now 'I need a doctor' is stuck in my head!
UnluckyChicka 0
84- that's what I said too
lottso88 4
That's not true at all, people can have medical problems that make losing weight near impossible.
Bofferding_fml 6
ydi, if you go for such a diet, do it till the end. such a diet with healthy food and sport works always for anyone (not if it's a hormone disease though). if you give yourself up after a short time, and go to a buffet, don't even start it.
CrazyGirl445 4
a lot of people go 7 days on. and a few off so stfu
MizzErikaHart 8
Eat right, exercise, die anyway. do what feels good!!
RODEOqueen 0
That is horrible advice. Obesity shortens lifespans by many years, meaning s/he will miss a lot of memories with their friends and family. OP, most trainers will let you "cheat" every once in a while, but a buffet is taking it too far. You can't stray from your diet that much.
ReynshineCutting 10
Actually you can stray from your diet that far ever once and awhile. It completely throws off your metabolism so it resets it and you'll lose more weight in the few days after, once you get back to your diet.
nhlnba2 6
It's all the greasy chickens fault, it sucks everybody in.
nerdchic 5
just because you eat at a buffet doesn't me you over eat.. and some buffets can be actually healthy depending on what you eat.. op doesn't deserve it.. many people don't lose weight easily
TheDrifter 24
It's actually not bad advice 83. People forget that it's the can't remember your name, ******** your pants senile years at the end that you lose first.
countryboyj17 0
70 I believe it's the whole deal of when you die, js. some people actually like the idea of life
Kranken_fml 0
There's no point in going on a diet if you take a few days off so maybe you should stfu.
CaptSkippy 9
yeah stick with it one day won't do shot your body has to adjust
junz_fml 0
exercise more.;)
Mitcha857 0
that's what's I was going to say! One hour isn't enough. If your really that determined, you need to be going for two hours a day at least
ReynshineCutting 10
One hour is more than enough. 2 hours everyday actually overworks your muscles and it's counterproductive.
Mitcha857 0
not really it all depends on what OP is doing in the gym. And what the hell do you mean over-worked at two hours? So you mean to tell me all those UFC fighters in the gym only work out an hour a day so they won't overwork their muscles? Yeah right!
prodigy361 0
actually you are only supposed to work out with weights for an hour a day or else you do over work your muscles the rest of the time is card or in ufc case training dumbass. read some magazines or talk to some personal trainers and get facts before you speak.
intheboot 0
^^^ not true at all. time is reallmp mp. irrelavent. its the amount of physical work that you put the muscles through. go find a professional athlete in any sport and try to find one whose trainer tosses him out of the weight room after an hour...
netherflame 0
Not going to support anyone on this, but it depends on your muscles tolerance. If you have never had a real workout, don't just throw yourself into a three-hour intense exercisement routine. That way you will surely overwork your muscles and harmoni yourself. As for OP individually, the answer is "make it a routine". You can't exercise an hour for only a few days and expect to see results, then quit... Build it up over time. Just as with food or any other chemicals your body absorbs, your muscles need to get used to it: Ergo sum.
netherflame 0
harm* And I am not speaking of personal experience. It was something I read about once... ; o
browntiga 0
one hour is more than enough if you work out efficiently than you should be able to lose a decent amount of weight I only work out for 45 mins per day and I'm losing weight
RavenRiley007 4
well that bloody sucks! retrace your steps something can't be right or take lax to maybe speed up your metabolism
Alicia17C 2
not true 2 hours is good for loosing weight just not if ur trying to gain muscle. to do that u need breaks in between for ur muscles to rebuild. also OP must b doing mainly cardio workouts, some people try to loose weight by lifting weights and other strength workouts but that doesn't work for weightless.
ReynshineCutting 10
Cardio alone might help you lose some, but if you combine cardio and weights it's the best work out for weight loss. With cardio, as soon as you're done you stop burning calories. With weight training, you keep burning calories after you're done.
TheNewGuy03 29
210 -- you're wrong. cardio does spike your metabolism for a bit longer after you're done, not just while you're doing it... that's the main reason why cardio is often recommended at the beginning of a person's day. |the kid|
Meowchie 5
Nah, those wanks just pump drugs which aren't deemed illegal yet. Nice try though!
Doortje 30
How long have you been dieting? If you really haven't lost any weight perhaps you should see a doctor.
insanesna1l 0
exercise is for the weak! You keep at that buffet.
vita987 0
hahahahA
DEXter501 0
High? It seems more logical that she has a slow metabolism
BuhZinga 2
How long have you been on your new diet/workout plan? Have you been keeping track of your measurements? You do know new muscle weighs more than lost fat, right? and if you weighed yourself the same day as your buffet, the added weight is just food in your intestines. Why do people always associate successful health plans with numbers on a scale?
krissi3 0
thanks saved me the time of writing that. I know for me it's the BMI index, if I went down to the weight I'm "supposed" to be for my height and weight I would look unhealthy.
t765234 10
BMI= Body Mass Index, you don't need the extra index afterwards
theRovingMage 0
Even BMI isn't always perfect. If you start building muscle (which is heavier than fat), BMI can put you into the overweight category. I know a guy in stellar physical shape but is "obese" partially because of muscle weight. If you're really athletic, get your body fat checked instead of BMI.
SailorSolaris 43
I don't. I'm dieting myself, eating mainly fruits and veggies in smoothies, with a small carbohydrate intake. Lost 13 lbs. and I'm only a month and a half into the diet. Add some cardio, and BAM!
PeteyPablo12308 20
If you are on a diet, then why are you at a buffet?
MyNameIsBruce 0
Win
ReynshineCutting 10
It's ok to have a cheat meal every once in awhile. It's good for your sanity and your metabolism.
klutzyduck1 24
Unicorn lady...are you in shape? I never overeat, because there is no reason to. I eat until until just before I'm full. It takes awhile for you to feel full, As far as loading yourself up with unneeded fat and grease, why would you put yourself through the torture on your body that the cholesterol and empty calories? Plus it takes awhile to create a healthy habit, so if you cheat you're breaking that habit and making it that much harder to develop a good habit. It's like quitting smoking and allowing yourself to smoke one day a week. It makes it harder to not smoke everyday. It's not about starving yourself, it's about creating a healthy lifestyle. If you do it right you won't feel like cheating because you're not denying yourself. A body likes eating healthy. I eat right and exercise often because it feels good. I have not ever been on a diet, but I have been heavier than I am. I'm not trying to criticize you, I just don't want the OP getting advice that may not be right for her. A nutritionist, a doctor and a personal trainer would be the best resource. Weight comes off slowly and certain workouts have better results. I have seen women really benefit from crossfit and it only takes 1/2 a day, 3 days a week. Oh, and some buffets are not unhealthy but most are. People with a weight problems often have issues with portion control and buffets are bad places to tempt them. Everyone knows small meals several times a day keep the metabolism moving at a quick rate.
ReynshineCutting 10
I am overweight and on a healthy eating plan and it's absolute torture. I hate healthy foods. Some are "ok" but I don't crave vegetables or grilled chicken. People are just wired differently. I can't survive without the occasional bowl of ice cream or fried chicken. It's called moderation. Every nutritionist, dietician, therapist, and personal trainer I've ever met preaches moderation. You just can't go eat all that crap 24/7. Every now and then won't hurt you.
penguinazul 13
This is my problem. I eat healthy food but it's just so bland and boring; it makes dieting pure torture for me. I eat the shit anyway cause it's good for me, but god does it lack flavor. My school cafeteria, which is where I eat most of the time because I can't afford to buy my own food, is absolutely TERRIBLE at cooking vegetables. If they aren't smothered in butter, they're just served plain, and I can't ever get to where I'm actually enjoying what I eat. I want eating to be an enjoyable experience. I don't want it to feel like a chore. Right now, it feels like a chore. If someone could tell me how to eat right without it feeling like that, then please, by all means, tell me how to do it! I need all the help I can get.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Just because the OP was at a buffet doesn't necessarily mean that everything they ate was unhealthy. There are a lot of healthy things such as salad, skinless grilled chicken, and the like at buffets. It also doesn't mean that they over ate because it is entirely possible to stop eating when one is no longer hungry, even at the buffet.
EaZyCheaZ 0
unicorn. you likely don't crave healthy foods because after years of eating unhealthy foods your body has come to crave it. likely expecting it's healthy dose of sugars and msg (otherwise labeled as "natural flavors"). you have to break the cravings for this. it's not "wired different" it's learned dependency. it is up to you to fix it if you want to loose weight.
ReynshineCutting 10
...or I could just keep doing what I'm doing where I eat healthy almost all the time and have one good meal here and there and keep losing weight... I don't get why some of you are so anti-moderation. There's nothing wrong with enjoying tasty foods as long as you don't overdo it. Eating pizza once a month is not going to hurt you.
sunshineruby 7
I agree unicorn :)
Meowchie 5
Oh gee, I bet the poor people who live on under $1 a day in the world would so understand your complaints. Be thankful you have food and don't exactly need to do anything to get it. Maybe you could swap places with someone who'd appreciate it and probably be more deserving of it, and perhaps oxygen? lol
PrickHead 0
and how much exactly did you eat?
denvan 0
Get back on that treadmill with a hot dog tied at the front as your reaching goal