Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
bob7up 5
Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)
redbluegreen 41
It is not very effective. OP fainted.
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Comments (263)
Monkeybuttcream 4
What the **** is a pokemon?
immaMonsta 8
Excuse me? What is Pokémon? Only a show that was really popular back in the 90s, early 2000s...and it may still be popular, idk. I grew up.
SkoomaKi 28
#14 - Awwwwwww hell no. Be prepared for a shitstorm by every commenter here....
kandi_kid69 15
14- GTFO. >:[
natepooch 4
14- C'MON SONNN!
ASSASSIN95 17
HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT POKEMON IS?!?!? i have lost all faith in the human race. I must rely on Pokemon now
DAHONKEY 0
Who the hell is this guy!! Seriously OMFG
iloveursister 4
must be a Digimon fan
linkinpark98 24
WHAT?! D: One does not simply not know what a Pokemon is!
CoolBreezeKing 8
Damn you must live under a rock if you don't know what pokemon is.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Couldn't you GOOGLE IT? For ***** sake, you're just asking to be hated.
FYLminerocks 7
You have never lived..
Doribella98 14
:O how could you not possibly know what a pokemon is? I grew up with pokemon, and I still love it.
Gtaylorfication 0
Pokemon is just as good as **** Charzard gives me a raging boner
EG14_fml 8
*eye twitches* What the **** is a pokemon?!? Only the best damn ever created!!!! WTF! *accidentally thumbs up comment* *explodes with even more rage*
Admastvia 4
You dont know what Pokemon is?? Only the greatest TV show and game of all time... Please, just please GTFO
poohappens26 0
Whattt holy shit u dunno what Pokemon is? FYL ydi muhahahahahahaha
flockz 20
"uh der i justa play call of dewty. pokeman must be stupid if i haven't heard of it."
t765234 10
14- I assumed you got banned, it was much nicer without you starting up flame wars everywhere.
natepooch 4
If you look at the guys page, he's like 30...a little old to have grown up with Pokemon don't you think
natepooch 4
all you damned 14 and 13 year olds -__- I played Pokemon before any of you were even born. Back when if you didnt have a portable light for your gameboy you were screwed the whole car ride home at night...but ehh those things always killed your batteries anyways. Oh and btw there were 150 Pokemon then not 1000 or what ever they are up to now
NoisyNykkii 10
I actually have a different story...... I have an older sister(22) who grew up with Pokemon(yayyy!) and still has her old gameboy colors (Ik how you feel about the whole light thing -_-) so therefore, I dont care if you bag on us or not, at least I still played the game :D(the old ones too. I used to have Lightning, Fire, Leaf, and sadly not Water qq.)
DDDAze 4
In the words of Professor Oak, "Back in your day you had to use husks of corn to play Pokemon."
badmittonbeast22 4
Yeah, Pikachu makes me horny too
ceedub24 0
That's hawt.
crazykid300 6
Pokemon ****
FlameFist 7
Rule 34: No exceptions.
MrBoredomioo 18
Pretty sure there was an FML that ended with the OP being accused of looking through Pokeporn. Idk if it was after or before this one though
chicago86 1
you could have conveniently used it too?
fernclogger 5
Who did you think of? Misty? Dawn? Hmm You sir like hentai
emag_eht 18
The way you put it is way better than what I originally thought. I usually think about the actual Pokemon when people mention it, not so much the characters.
gonad_gobbler 1
OP thinks of snooki from the jersey shore naked to get rid of his erection, it's super effective!
emeraldisle 30
Guess my profile pic wouldn't help your inconvenience.
SkoomaKi 28
It's like a Dragonborn Pikachu..... Ok I just jizzed, and it's everywhere. I'm so sorry.
emeraldisle 30
It's actually pikachu as Thor.
FlameFist 7
Actually, it's a kitten. EmeraldIsle, Y U NO keep profile pic?!
eyecon502 13
I've seen some cute Pokemon cosplay girls, so...
shayshayshazam 14
When you get an Onyx-pected boner, just turn on your Charmander pants will fall off.
Krulin 8
I just came here to say you're awesome.
WiderWille 11
I just came here.
Pancakemines 0
Dane Cook references. Now we gettin fancy eh?
flockz 20
just don't let her get a pikachu, or it would be arbokward.
flockz 20
just don't act too slowbro, don't be a shaymin, just take control of the situation!
juicifer 0
BONER I CHOOSE YOUUUUU!!!!