Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
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Top comments
musicislife1995_fml 0
she still played with it... I bet it was funny to watch. loosen up (even though it's loose enough in basketball shorts)
MyOwnDestruction 0
I do the same with my guy. it's fun for some reason.
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Comments (79)
musicislife1995_fml 0
she still played with it... I bet it was funny to watch. loosen up (even though it's loose enough in basketball shorts)
austinocappucino 0
hahahaha soo funny...
jrkarikas 0
she's playing with your penis! how did you not turn that into at least a *******?
killerpenguin4 9
you fail at life if you didn't turn that into anything
sophie2212_fml 0
there should be a win button
yoyoforpeace 14
I love doing that!
flinstoner 0
I've done that before.
opsyOp 1
it's time to take off your shorts ;)
MyOwnDestruction 0
I do the same with my guy. it's fun for some reason.
SnowVixen 0
Agreed. I don't know why it's fun, but it is.
jenniferxxlou 0
lol same :)
gntfmlingnow 12
Remind me to hang out with you three women
EvilCupcake8361 9
I think it's pretty hilarious 2 do:P
virshu 0
if the fact that your erection is noticeable hurts your chances of getting some action then one of the following is true: 1. it's too small 2. ur gay and ur "gf" knows it while u don't 3. this post is fake
Mx_Rider 6
lol i let my gf do this to me and no im not gay or small in any way, its fun, then we get to the business :p
adrianlives702 0
thats cuz your a bro.
Shmeaty 0
she should laugh when you **** in her eye then.
mannequiin 0
ROFL. AWESOME.
perdix 31
She's played with your dick because it was probably dribbling. You need to take it to the hole!
HarperGirl 4
WIN!
misha1995 0
Haha, normally I'd say FYL but I think it's too funny for the rest of us :)