Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
bob7up 5
Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)
redbluegreen 41
It is not very effective. OP fainted.
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Comments (263)
clumsychik 1
Bubbles.
2ndSucks 15
I think you have your cartoons confused.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
Don't worry, you're not the only one. I always get lady boners while playing Pokemon.
boxbrandon11 20
Which Pokemon?
SkoomaKi 28
Every Pokemon! Apart from Zubat. I hate those little flying *******, there's like a million in one cave.
starbucksguy 16
Bubble, however, is a Pokemon move...though it was probably more a case of hydro pump...
upyourzlolz 11
No hydro pumping this one. Just his Onix using Harden.
maosquare 18
Wild Metapod used Harden.
instnt1nfction 17
Gardevoir used flash. Wild Metapod is stunned.
starbucksguy 16
Wild Metapod used Growth...
flockz 20
Cloyster used spikes! metapod retracted uhhh i mean fled!
hahafylop 4
119- You're picture almost have me a laughing induced heart attack.
TummyYummy__ 16
This thread is the greatest nerdfest ever.
IloveyouJon 11
It was obviously Snorlax 26!
MrSmOkEwEeD451 2
Well, I guess were actually having a conversation about pokemon. **** YEH!
DogsPaw 16
173- we're I couldn't help it, I had to do something or else I would have been thinking of it all day.
DarkSanster 7
I think I lost brain cells by reading this pokemón conversation...
starbucksguy 16
158 nah, it was probably Jynx...
moneybagz131 6
I know right?! XD
nateb1tch 1
Double foul! Not only dissing Pokemon, but also complaining that it made you harder, wow
MrSmOkEwEeD451 2
186 - No, it's ok, it was my mistake. :)
aisthecoolest 8
I think he thought about it more while trying to stop thinking about it, happens to me all the time. :)
MrSmOkEwEeD451 2
235 - That happens to me the whole time!
bob7up 5
Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)
unoffensivename 0
Wasn't than an FML?
godlike1 5
I think the fml was fantasizing about a bunny chick from final fantasy
doctorhook86 25
I'm 100% sure I saw a comment on FML just yesterday by some cute blonde woman in a pikachu costume...
lolmigosh 15
Next time just picture your grandma naked with her gray pubes showing. that should get rid of it ;)
ChrisG93 8
Doctorhook you are correct a girl did make a comment in a pikachu costume or hoodie. Pretty interesting coincidence. Lol
zebraface123 6
so glad I'm not a guy...at least I dont think I am
ElricMustang 23
117) It's never too late to check.
FMMFL1992 3
Or a Nurse Joy costume
ebdeadaccount 11
Awesome Profile pic
DWeth 0
Cosplay girls can be sexy :]
downtime 13
77, Maybe you liked to walk around everywhere with a raging hard on but some people feel a little uncomfortable doing that...
downtime 13
One of my fears when thinking about other things to get rid of unwanted erections was that my mind would end up associating those things with arousal and whenever I see, hear or think of them it'd happen again...
xxkimmyt 9
You know Pikachu is sexy. ;)
Andr913 13
One of my gay friends made a comment about Poliwag that scarred me for life. Apparently Poliwag has good lips for...yeah... He's weird.
p3mguin 7
Misty was bangin back in the show. I don't know about that May chick. she doesn't cut it for me ;)
CareFace 16
3- Pikachu is super sexy when Jessica Nigri dresses as her. *drools*
honeybuncher 3
OP chose Pukachu!(;
MDTeddy 13
If you only know Pikachu...Pokemon is not for you.
Dr0reos 8
167 yeah gyarados was always what did it for me. (especially the red one)
Dr0reos 8
OP when your with your girlfriend no erection is inconvenient. Thou shalt not waste boners.
Journiexo 18
I Pikachu in the shower c;
redbluegreen 41
It is not very effective. OP fainted.
ASSASSIN95 17
The harder you try not to think about your erection, the harder it gets.
Inheritance 10
Try adding water, water is super effective to rock types!
MikaRoxx_fml 3
Lmao I love this!
Inheritance 10
Better yet have you girlfriend help! Have her use hydro pump on your dick. Problem solved? I think so.
SadIife 6
Giggly puff is one sexy pokemon...
kandi_kid69 15
It's not giggly puff -__-
MedKits 9
Facepalm*
Crystal55621 19
Eh, some people just don't know the names.
MDTeddy 13
I can name practially every pokemon aside from B&W. Maybe half or less of D/P/P and almost all of R/S/E and all from the rest.
SadIife 6
Sorry guys, my phone autocorrected me. :S
doctorhook86 25
166 - Knowing any Pokemon after the first 150 is lame. /hipster pokémaster
SammyS2012 21
151 Pokemon! You need to count Mew!! D:
that_band_nerd 22
*waves cane* back in my day if you wanted a complete pokedex you had to trade to get the other two starter Pokemon!
2ndSucks 15
Pfft. There's no such thing as an "inconvenient" erection, OP.
FYLminerocks 7
Have you been to a funeral?
2ndSucks 15
Have you heard of sarcasm?
THE_A_TEEN 28
I don't think Sarcasm is a Pokémon.
SkoomaKi 28
2ndSucks used Sarcasm. It's not very effective... Had to be done. *flies away*
SpottedZebra42 14
*at your girlfriend's house
2ndSucks 15
That's a bit better. Please excuse my poor wording.
HarleeMae 6
She was being sarcastic, obviously.. & this is completely off topic, but would your username happen to be referring to a song? Lol. Just wondering.
2ndSucks 15
Yes ma'am, it is. ADTR!
yozakura06 2
So if your in the gym locker room and everyone is walking around naked is that an ok place to have an erection o_0?
HarleeMae 6
I love ADTR. :D
iliketurdles 7
So, Pickachu turns you on? Or Jigglypuff? Jigglypuff is actually pretty hot.. Did I say that out loud?
missamazinggg 12
Maybe he was picturing Missy?
Jakesterk96 8
7- You didn't say it out loud, you just posted it on FML.
soupisyummy 13
"jiggly puff is one fine piece of ass" Anyone seen that?
SaniK 17
Misty fugly
ycrem0n 21
Metapod used Harden!
doctorhook86 25
And goddamned if it didn't look like an erect dick, too
starbucksguy 16
Ivysaur is evolving! Ivysaur evolved into Penisaur! Do you want to give a nickname to Penisaur?
Jakesterk96 8
9-It was super effective!
SweetPerfectionn 3
Your Me Gusta picture seems to go so well with your comment.
emit97 8
Clever!
SkoomaKi 28
Girlfriend - Do you want anything to eat? OP - Yeah some crisps would be nice Girlfriend - Ok, imma go get some *leaves room* OP - Chatizard, pikachu....! *jizzes* Girlfriend - *walks in and stares* OP - Oh god why....
The_Hitdude 12
Geek...senses...tingling....Gah! *Charizard I'm ashamed of myself.
SkoomaKi 28
Ahh autocorrect, it had served and humiliated me for so long... We should be proud of being nerds and geeks! We have to carry it on for generations to come! Nerds and Geeks unite!
skullofdarkness 18
Just listen to a song "The Birds and the Bee drills"