Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sensual_kidney 0
keep your hand in your pocket. If you get a boner, you can hold it down discretely. Works every time *thumbs up*
TC_fml 0
What's that old saying? Oh, if you got it... flaunt it! If I was her, I'd take that as a huge compliment and be absolutely flattered. Now if you started a shadow puppet show.... LOL teasing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
TC_fml 0
What's that old saying? Oh, if you got it... flaunt it! If I was her, I'd take that as a huge compliment and be absolutely flattered. Now if you started a shadow puppet show.... LOL teasing.
greenman_fml 0
getting a boner because you thought you might kiss a girl is cool. it's even cooler that you just let it hang out. you could have say, tucked it up in your pants, walked behind the car, put your hands in your pocket and grabbed onto it, but hell, now she knows she can make you do whatever she wants.
TryToBeKind 0
She didn't even kiss you? Geez.
ohmy_god 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that sucks, but this will make you feel better
squeaky_fml 0
I'd take that as a compliment, if I were her.
sensual_kidney 0
keep your hand in your pocket. If you get a boner, you can hold it down discretely. Works every time *thumbs up*
Im_your_destiny 0
No big deal. I'd be flattered.
captcool024 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
haha.. thats funny man.. should have just boned her, that would have dealt with the whole erection thing. or flip it up into your waist band, it hides it and it feels good.. almost blew a load into my belly button once. jk..
TBevan 3
Super bad!! lmao ftw
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
21- Well unless she consents to being "boned"; that counts as rape. And I don't think OP wants to go to jail just because he had a boner.
Raygatron 0
LOLLL ahh these comments are hilarious xD
aszeroth 0
lol elaborate more man