Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
bob7up 5
Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)
redbluegreen 41
It is not very effective. OP fainted.
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Comments (263)
KungFuWater 3
Snorlax turn you on bro?
MrBoredomioo 18
In other words, my mom turns you on
kevinn95 0
Pikachu has that kinda effect on people
merko 8
not gonna lie, but snorlax does give a hard on.
daniel_2209 12
Congratulations! Your Ekans just evolved into an Arbok!
AnimationStation 3
YDI - the innate awesomeness of pokemon only serve to *increase* blood flow towards the genitals. (I need to talk to someone..... =/)
taskfree 3
Metapod HARDEN!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Too much rule 34, dude. Penis-chu, I choose you! Penis-chu used harden! It's super effective! Penis-chu used continuous drill! It's not very effective...
blablablarg 0
FTW
Inediblepeaches 15
Metapod, hit em' with a harden!!
bowser_rawr16 13
I still think if they ever continue making the Eeveelutions, and they make a rock type, they should name it Hardeon. Lol.
nchov523 11
Completely understandable.