Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
bob7up 5
Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)
redbluegreen 41
It is not very effective. OP fainted.
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Comments (263)
krysxkatastrophe 14
Pokemon makes my bulba-saur. .....dear God, that was lame.
SkoomaKi 28
It's not! When it comes to Pokemon, nothing is lame.
FlameFist 7
Except for the people that hate Pokemon. They are extremely lame.
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't think of Dora the Explorer -- you'd have jizzed in your pants.
fernclogger 5
I can't imagine what would happen if OP thought of Yu Gi Oh...
RendarSelin 5
Metapod used Harden.
RendarSelin 5
Yea I saw your comment after I already posted mine. Perhaps a little reading beforehand would save me the -'s. Reading is super effective!
Arrawyn 12
Wow, I never knew that anime creature things could be so sexy
RendarSelin 5
You haven't seen enough hentai...
EnterSandman_fml 20
Well, that's kind of Oddish.
msilikegrapes 8
HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! no shit.
DWeth 0
I see what you did there...
glambert17 0
You're not the first one to think a cartoon is hot. Ariel, no?
bramberkhout 10
Definitely. Or Yasmine from Aladdin.
rawrv42 7
I'd tap gardevoir, but that's just me ... "Can I squirtle all over your jigglypuffs?" -Smosh
msilikegrapes 8
my pokemon brings all duh boys to the yard and theyre like "do you wanna trade cards"
immaMonsta 8
Lmao, that made my night!
Larawk 8
Darn right I wanna trade cards! I'll trade this, but not my Charizard!
samster7672 0
OH MY GOD!!!!!! XD
kickuwithmyfist 1
GO!!! BONER-SAUR!!! GO!!!
rikolasdf 2
Keep the likes and dislikes even!