Today, I restarted my desktop computer at work. Nobody told me, but it turns out that my computer holds the licenses used for all programs on the server. Needless to say, a lot of people hate me right now. It's only my fifth day here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML
Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, at work I accidentally shut down a computer that does the essential routine jobs and hasn’t been turned off in 11 years. When it turned on again all the updates we’ve been ignoring decided to run at the same time. The run time is currently 4 hours and our whole office is in a shambles. FML
Today, I got written up for filing a complaint against IT for unplugging my computer while I was on my lunch break. I found out because one of my workmates warned me. I work with a computer so old, it takes about 40 minutes to get it running. The company refuses to update the equipment, because "it's unnecessary." FML
Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML
Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
Today, as always, my boss is too cheap to buy more than 2 profiles for a critical software. Six employees compete in a daily thunderdome to log on and do their work before getting kicked off and losing everything. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Sounds more like a FML for the IT support for your company. What braindead IT guy would store that kind of info on a computer accessible by an end user AT ALL, let alone make this computer the end-user's primary terminal?
sixtus1973 27
Licenses belong on a computer which is accesible to IT personell only. If these people really want to hate someone (which is a bit childish) they should turn their anger towards the IT department.
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Comments (24)
JasonThorn 23
Sounds more like a FML for the IT support for your company. What braindead IT guy would store that kind of info on a computer accessible by an end user AT ALL, let alone make this computer the end-user's primary terminal?
tibtak 20
... and give that machine to someone new to the company
sixtus1973 27
Licenses belong on a computer which is accesible to IT personell only. If these people really want to hate someone (which is a bit childish) they should turn their anger towards the IT department.
ARISKomuniszt 24
This could become your secret weapon...
RichardPencil 32
Now that you’ve got enemies, you can crush them with the click of a button, or a Ctrl+Alt+Delete, as the case may be. There’s a new sheriff in town!
onceuponatime456 16
Your entire comment makes no sense at all. I believe someone is pulling your leg as that is not how licenses for programs work.
RichardPencil 32
You are wrong. Lots of programs use a license server, which can be any computer that IT chooses. An older, out-of-date PC can usually handle this task. My guess is that the company used one of their “surplus” old computers for the new hire, and forgot it was the license server. The part of the story that is dubious is that everyone crashed during the OPs reboot. The license schemes I’ve seen allows users to work continuously while the license server reboots (except you can’t get a new license in that time.)
swervelol 28
Well now you control the office congratulations.
Idream 7
Well.. Why haven't they told you!
Rabite 28
That's really the smallest problem in this story.
Lobby_Bee 18
Reveal to everybody that you are actually the CEO and this is the TV show Undercover Boss. Then tell them they are all fired.
AzrielB 8
maybe your first job should be to move those licenses to the server
jbuckets_404 39
NOT her job ... unless explicitly assigned to do so. :-)
AzrielB 8
if the licenses are on her computer she is either an IT person or the IT person is incompetent, either way those codes need to go
jbuckets_404 39
Actually OP, the only person to be concerned with not upsetting is your boss. And in this case, it wasn't your fault anyway, but his (for not realizing and/or not notifying others of the potential of said event happening).