Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML
Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
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Top comments
StripedSwtor 7
he's screwed if you guys have a son
oicu812xD 16
You'll feel real stupid when your future daughter has that name: P haha but seriously you have to give him credit for trying
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Comments (167)
Kiki242 19
That's perhaps the dumbest excuse yet.
ksmith88 0
Then the Grinch thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
He thought up a clever lie, while his wife was riding that dick.
Kiki242 19
I really don't understand why someone is in a committed relationship and cheat. Why not leave the person and save them heartache.
Michael_92 20
Who said within anything about cheating?
BeautyMonster 17
Ever think he could have been fantasizing about someone else? A celebrity? Friend? Don't always assume the worst.
PrimalHunk 5
Always assume the worst. You will be happy when it's not!
pbrown72 8
Cool , Story Bro ... ********
emeraldisle 30
That's the most creative excuse I've ever heard.
Unbweavable 17
Even if he's telling the truth that's a bit creepy
annie_nk 23
Only a bit because in a way, she was ****** by God. "Possessed by the Lord"
outoftown 27
#98, and that gives Holy Trinity a whole new meaning.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
If you ever have kids with him, OP, I sort of wish that they all happen to be boys. Then, you can ask him why the Lord would tell him false things. Name your daughter anything except what he moaned.
The_F3rris 11
I don't think anyone on fml should procreate
xpheonix57 7
That is probably the most original excuse I've ever heard for saying the wrong name during sex. I wouldn't be able to stay mad for long, assuming it was just a slip up. If he's cheating then it's completely different.
s0m3guy2010 21
It's a miracle! I'm guessing it's probably another reincarnation of Whitney Houston.
Shadow_Phantom 26
It's too bad you guys our married; divorces suck.
subwaysurfers 13
He might not even be cheating! People like you are the reason divorce rates are going up.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*are And get divorced because of one little slip-up?!
tennisrapper1 14
44 - it's easier for dumbasses to say "get a divorce" than to think out a correct idea in how to handle something like this. That's why they're ***** or douchebags like the jersey shore cast.