Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML
Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
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Top comments
StripedSwtor 7
he's screwed if you guys have a son
oicu812xD 16
You'll feel real stupid when your future daughter has that name: P haha but seriously you have to give him credit for trying
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Comments (167)
tennisrapper1 14
I hate when stupid jerks like you go out and say "Divorce his ass" when you, for one, don't know all the details.
shireman97 6
Nice save though
Enslaved 38
Damn! He certainly can think under pressure! That is one hell of an excuse. Next stop, moaning another guy's name to cover up for when you have a son.
s0m3guy2010 21
She needs to mention a last name too. Real visions from the Lord come with a different last name.
shireman97 6
Would it not be their last names???
s0m3guy2010 21
The "lover" that's mentioned would more than likely have a different last name.
Enslaved 38
God told you to call our daughter Kate Beckinsale? I believe you, Dear! Let's play Underworld!;)
perdix 31
That's a pretty ballsy move to name your daughter after your mistress. Of course, this might mean your kid will be destined to be a little home-wrecker, too;)
The_F3rris 11
With a dad like that, I'm sure she would hah.
jayfreeman80 0
And you are filing for divorce right? If not then why the **** are you complaining? Hope the sex was good though. YDI
usmcheins 1
Ohh Monika!
dawnet 5
sounds legit. #sarcasm
subwaysurfers 13
This isn't twitter.
tennisrapper1 14
45 - And this isn't Facebook either... Wait... * Crawls back to hole in the corner.
flockz 20
*pushes boulder in front of hole.*
osm1989_fml 6
Look on the bright side. There is a possibility that he's actually just crazy, rather than lying... Wait... I'm not sure if that's actually any better...
Dixbfloppin 11
I give him props for the creative lie, but isn't Satan usually the one who "possesses" people?
wubbazugg 5
Yep, you're not his only one.