Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML
Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
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Top comments
StripedSwtor 7
he's screwed if you guys have a son
oicu812xD 16
You'll feel real stupid when your future daughter has that name: P haha but seriously you have to give him credit for trying
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Comments (167)
AznSamoan52 10
Either he's really good at thinking on the spot or he really did have a vision from the Lord. Either way that's some really deep stuff.
krewer21 1
Bullshit!
Warden1986 16
That's when you say, " yea and I'm the virgin Mary".
Elkrider 13
As excuses go, it's at least a creative one. Doesn't save it from being lame, though.
Fmlsea 28
wow there's a new breed of asshole , you married a creative one there i wonder how much creative he thought of for his vows .Since he has been "possessed by the lord " maybe he should be "possessed by blue balls".
Bex20 1
Well. Points for originality xD
bulbul116_fml 4
dont believe him..he is certainly cheating on u..!
lady1992 5
Your husband is an idiot.! -_- if i were u i would of been divorced.!
kristat 14
"oh god god oh god oh god"=divine encounter.
The_F3rris 11
I just love religious hacks, don't you? Bring your god into your adultery, scum bag.