Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
Muffinish 0
She should have that stick shoved up her bum, see how encouraging she is then.
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Comments (152)
neonbluezzz10 0
did you do anything thing to make you deserve it? if not that is just wrong on so many levels...
Paulspacefdot 0
I'm not generally a violent guy... and wouldn't under any normal circumstances hit a woman... (I'm old fashioned that way). But I think I would drag myself off the ground, and go kick the shit out of "mom" in front of "junior" - and then tell the kid that if you ever see him kick ANYONE again, for ANY reason, you'll kill them both... Just sayin'... there's rude, and there's totally uncalled for.
FarSide 23
LMAO
OverEnthusiast 0
Not to get all Biblical or anything, but Jesus Christ people, KEEP A ******* LEASH ON YOUR LITTLE BRAT. Little kids are adorable unless they have ****** up parents encouraging them to do shit like that. FYL dude.
plexico 4
She was probably that fat, ugly girl in high school you made fun of. She lost the weight, prettied up, got married had a kid and sent the little bastard after your 'nads! Payback's a bitch!
towell777 0
so are you for sticking up for fat people. im fat and i got over being made fun of. you dont do that. go on maury to get revenge
Zorglub_fml 1
#34 : Wow. FYL.
Indiana_fml 4
Haha, that would be a plausible explanation. Revenge is a dish best served cold :)
netbeui435 3
so go kick her in the crotch
Suekoff16 3
I hate parents who let their kids do whatever they want with no restraint. This is what leads kids to breaking laws as they get older if they are encouraged to hurt other people they will continue to do so.
briesparksthesun 0
Wow. What a bitch. Don't you hate it when parents let their kids do whatever the **** they want?
ronws23 0
#32, its called giving birth. i assume it is ten times worse
SimpleSimon 0
That would fall under excessive conventional pain, which I agree is more painful than a nut strike, but doesn't come with that same... je ne se quas... haha
musiclife_fml 0
one word: OWNED!!!!!
pinay_1026 0
I have a feeling he's not telling the whole story. And for the guys that complain about girls not knowing the pain of being hit in the nuts? Well, you'll never know the pain of natural childbirth. So suck it up, because that's a heck of a lot worse.
Mulada 0
Yeah, but birth happens less often. You can be kicked in the nuts 20 times in a day. I'm just saying, don't tell people to suck it up because it DOES hurt.
SimpleSimon 0
#39, how can you say that unless you're some kind of hermaphrodite with the ability to compare like for like?
trulyinsane 0
getting hit in the nuts is terrible. during a soccer game i took a free kick to the buddies. i didn't drama queen the situation, but every step to the sideline was like getting your dick and balls lit on fire then dipped in liquid nitrogen over and over again.
FarSide 23
You think there is something noble about natural child birth? Pain does not hurt you?