Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
Muffinish 0
She should have that stick shoved up her bum, see how encouraging she is then.
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Comments (152)
Pedestrian 0
Awesome! I moderated this one!
SavageSnipes 0
Seriously the funniest story i've ever read!!!! hahahahahahahahaa!!!!!
CDS09 0
throw a rock at the bitch's head and the little bastard will starve to death (assuming the father wasnt there too)
Faen 0
LOL
FarSide 23
poor little bastard ain't got no daddy... no daddy would allow his kid or old lady to do that... no matter how sorry of an old man he is.
VoltageSpike 0
Anyone care to clarify why there are always "hahaha, lol, rofl" responses to sexual assault? These responses wouldn't exist to a "I was walking down the street today when a kid came up and jammed a stick up my crotch. FML". Somehow sexual assault on a male's genitalia is funny, though. Grow up.
cocky 0
I'd beat the **** out of both of them.. no, seriously.
sparxva 12
Hmmm... Maybe you're right. Spank the mom.
cmac86 24
surely that's not the whole story here and ydi somehow. but from the information given I'll agree with you and say I agree.
bmx5S5 0
LOL!!!!!!!! Thats HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
alijacket 0
You should've kicked her in her nuts.