Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
Muffinish 0
She should have that stick shoved up her bum, see how encouraging she is then.
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Comments (152)
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
intotheblue 0
I was wondering what he did to deserve it too. It doesn't make any sense that a woman you've never met would tell her son to go up and hit a random man in the balls with a stick, just for kicks. Unless she's practicing for Fight Club or she's completely nuts or something. I find it more likely that you know her and she had a reason to be mad at you. But I don't condone violence, especially not involving children, so I clicked both YDI and FYL.
Hugorgy 0
Maybe she hates men or she mistook the OP as someone she knew and wanted him to hurt? Not enough information to know for sure.
americayay 0
he's the dad. kidding, but that would be awesome to find out years later. THERE'S an FML.
FarSide 23
The story makes no sense. Still, I would have run after the little nutcracker, and tripped him to make him cry. Then sucker punch his momma in the pubic bone. Apparently both of them understand pain.
gunman15 4
that is something no man deserves and dam I would have charged even if it was a kid and mom you might make it not to have kids in total if you do that to someone
Life_is_FML 22
Exes. They can really be biotches.
californianking1 8
Maybe he was a pedo?
midwestjerk 0
What the ****? Were you staring at her in a creepy way? There's gotta be more to this...either that, or she's a whackjob.
masonthemidget 11
The mom is a whackjob, so she told her son to give him a whackjob.
MastaHorse 0
Wow that mom is one supportive lady. She should die for raising mean kids.
anonymousssss_fml 3
wow random. that's really weird. i doubt you deserved it. :/
yeahsurre 0
ummm... :/
Amortifiedperson 0
That's really ****** up dude.....
cljc 1
wtf?
Nakedsquirrel 5
Reading this made me think you did something that came across as creepy.
Ligerie 0
WTF is wrong with parents now-a-days???? It's as if everywhere I go now parents think their kids acting like brats is so cute. Then this mom would have been pissed if you yelled at her kid for doing that.
beartalon 0
Exactly. I had a child yell at his mother that I was stupid because I was fat. First of all, I was in Walmart shopping and hadn't said or done anything to indicate stupidity, and how does fat and stupid correlate? The mom didn't tell her child to stop, didn't make him apologize and didn't apologize to me for his rudeness. She saw me glaring at her and started to back away behind her husband, as if that was going to stop my opinions on their parenting. I gave those loudly and told them bald-faced that their child needs better parenting on behaving nicely to people and lessons about how not to discriminate. The mother just waved me off. The father tried to look threatening, but I was taller (and obviously bigger than he was, because as we know, I'm fat). He slunk off after I told him that if he tried anything we'd be going to court.
Joshawott14 9
Good for you. You should've gone to court, but I guess it'd be kind of awkward. Hope you felt okay afterwards, hehe.
deathbunny256 0
wow