Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
Today, I found that if I want my husband to take me out, all I have to do is say that I’m trying to lose weight. Anytime I bring up dieting or weight loss, suddenly he wants to take me to every restaurant in town and splurge on sweets. Part of me wants to lose weight but I also enjoy the snacks. FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML
Today, I told my husband I wanted to make him happy by giving him a baby. He told me either I can make him happy, or I can give him a baby, but I can’t do both. FML
Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
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Top comments
macskapingvin 0
No man is going to react well to your plans to spend his money.
Cinn_fml 23
Well, the man has a point, unless it would definitely be your own money you would spend on clothes. Besides, why would you need to go on a shopping spree? Surely you'd have a selection of clothes from before you were pregnant that would fit when you lose the baby weight, and you could buy a couple of new things as a reward for being able to lose the weight. Unless you used the word spree as an exaggeration.
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Comments (136)
Shahad 0
lol go easy on him
novair 5
man's got a point.
iSitt 0
tell him no more sex until he understands who is really in charge of this FAMILY
whippymcdumb4zs 0
are we REALLY going to start this argument again?
gooBUZZ 0
Rofl #45!
rottentomatoes 7
yeh, he did
rallets 23
#45 , you got them good. you win.
gooBUZZ 0
Thank you #91. The other two, you lose.
LilithHellfire 0
that's life
nikkibihm 0
lol it's true though
jazzy21 0
And very logical!
dragonaair 5
He's right you know. Let's hope it's on clothes...
RX_Paul 0
She needs to get a job.
RedPillSucks 33
Because raising kids and taking care of the house is not real work?
meteor_stream 9
Because sitting on your husband's neck and asking him for money that you'll spend on your own whims is...ahem.... a typical leach behavior?
meteor_stream 9
For a couple months - yeah. But do you honestly think that being a SAHM is normal?
usafacadet2013 4
I am the eldest child in my family and my mom hasn't had any employment since at least 9 months before I was born, btw.
meteor_stream 9
Don't tell me that your father had to get a second job XD
GoingLesbian 0
Yes, yes I do. I'd rather raise my child, our child, than go to work tooooo... what... hmm what is that now... oh I remember! PAY for someone ELSE unrelated to my family whatsoever to raise my child for me. No thanks.
GoingLesbian 0
Considering full time daycare where I come from is about $1,100 a month. That's my take home working 40 hour weeks. I see my child for a few hours a day to have no money left over? or be in the sane financial situation and see, feed, raise, teach and live with my son everyday. That's a toughy!
meteor_stream 9
I just hope that you and your child are not a huge financial strain to your significant other one (in case you have them). Providing for two people, one of whom is extremely high-maintenance, is kinda....stressful.
shacoria 0
You're husband is a smart man. ROFLMAO
papaya_master 4
*Your. Before you can ask, I would like to clarify that I'm a Grammar Nazi.
macskapingvin 0
Married to Grampa Nazi?
nathan5 0
At least he tried...
SmallTownCutie 0
18- win
marinus_fml 20
women=money! Yes I am sexist. jks. :)
nathan5 0
Women=money Women=time Time=money Women=poverty :(
nathan5 0
Edit: please don't take this too seriously!
FYLDeep 26
Yeah women = time x money so we substitute here women = money x money and everyone knows money is the root of all evil therefore the root of all evil squared = money squared = women So we simplify this to come out with women=evil QED
macskapingvin 0
Technically, the proverb is that "The love of money is the root of all evil". And so it is not women, but the love of women, that is evil.
WishResign 0
58 wins
Tonamon 0
BIATCH SLAP THAT @&$#^%^ XD
macskapingvin 0
No man is going to react well to your plans to spend his money.
GoingLesbian 0
He won't react well to staying home with the child while she works instead either. Cough up the cash once in a while, make your WIFE feel loved and than you can go back to 'spending your cash' on your own shit repeatedly while she raises your child.
williamh_fml 0
taking this a little seriously.
LissaMccracken 23
#114 Maybe just maybe she should ask if its okay for her to buy new clothes with HIS money... I can tell you are the kinda woman guys should avoid
HolyPaladin 0
p
djmigues 7
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