Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
Muffinish 0
She should have that stick shoved up her bum, see how encouraging she is then.
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Comments (152)
sparxva 12
Drop the kid's pants and spank him.
Duckasaurus 0
No, dude, he'll be arrested and then he'll be a pedophile the rest of his life.
sparxva 12
Bare your arms, make a fist and start walking toward the bitch. Figure the rest out on your own.
kmgentil 0
HIT 'EM BACK
Mulada 0
Only one sensible thing to do; sharpen the stick and jam it into her eye.
Vertoule 7
That's where you grab a coat hanger and perform the abortion she so clearly missed... Sure, it may be a few years late, but it'll be understandible.
icertainlysuck 0
Id take that kid and throw that little bitch off a cliff
towell777 0
bahahahahhahah XD thats hilarious!!!!
Guairdean 0
Have the kid arrested for assault and file charges against the parents for instigating the assault. Her thumbs up should be sufficient proof of her involvement. A night it jail would do both of them some good.
Rota 0
You should have raped the mom. Then the child.
xHaniffax 0
Did you like go out with the kid's mum? and then piss her off somehow? If you didn't then you should stick the little bastard up a tree. His mum should teach him some respect towards other people.
Nightfallz 0
assault. call da police