Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
I hope your comeback was, "Watch your kid, dipshit!" That is unless you were facing her and saw it coming. Then, you might've been better off moving.
nike1 0
What a sick father :S I hope you're OK.
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Comments (151)
nike1 0
What a sick father :S I hope you're OK.
sdawl 0
yeah hope your ankle isn't broken. I would have punched the guy in the face and/or stabed him
nxkftw 0
nasty lil brat and her asshole father.
nick0011 0
Lmfao when i read this at first i read "her father RAN ME OVER...." I was like WHAT AN ASSHOLE. lmao then i re read it... still an asshole
truelyawesome 0
The little girl just made a mistake! attack the dad, assholes.
CitizenSnipz 0
I only said YDI so the number would be 1337 :(
blushy 14
don't you just love kids :)
xzavyur 11
#147 It's funny, because it's sarcastic.
iMuffinKat 16
That little girl's gonna grow up believing whatever she does is someone else's fault. Great parenting,
redbluegreen 41
I hope your comeback was, "Watch your kid, dipshit!" That is unless you were facing her and saw it coming. Then, you might've been better off moving.
ddrluna 2
Yeah, seriously. These people need to be told where the **** to go when they start lipping off for no reason.
redbluegreen 41
Well, ignorant parents can't have all the fun with bad insults.
ravinderkaler 0
Insulting him back IS the best course of action.
NoMercy_fml 0
You could run and shove a stick in the kids spokes instead.
GloomySkyz 0
Yes, Because he's going to run with a broken ankle...
Gunnybear 0
reply, watch were you stick your dick next time, then you won't have to watch this little brat
Gunnybear 0
wait, what if the dad was talking to his daughter? 0.o
Phallus_fml 0
What did the word "douchebag" have to do with the incident? Kinda didn't fit in.
IsaacClarke 0
What. Douchebag is a common insult.
Rooney101 0
Another reason why i hate kids. They have no vision more than 2 metres in head of them. I managed never to crash into anyone when i was about 5. Kids are such morons these days.
Alexgoesfml 3
One of the most ignorant comments I've seen in a while. They are kids, what do you expect? There are only a few kids that just manage to run into people, they are just the ones that are noticed since you won't notice the kids that won't run into you.
heywood 0
Dumb people can do two things in life: get drivers licenses, and have kids. It is a sick, sad and cruel world.
redbluegreen 41
My mom always told me drivers licenses was fate's way of thinning the gene pool.
darkwar4ever 0
ROFL. Hahaha, that's so true - except good, innocent people get hurt by arrogant assholes.
spoo 24
you missed making prejudice comments standing in line for chew at walmart
treli1593 0
dont forget "become president"
lisafannypack 0
LOL :D
chazstah 0
shoulda got up and snapped him in the face
dan81892 2
his ankle probably hurt a lot, he couldn't do much if it hurt enough for him to think it was broken.
WhyMe1_2_3 0
Wow that sucks..... by no means is this your fault, but maybe be a little bit more observant... i'm pretty sure most people are able to move out the way or atleast say stop when a little girl on a bike rides by
aback 5
That's why they used to put horns or bells on bikes so you could warn someone instead of just knocking them down.
Needlestick 0
Of course, he blames someone else because his "little angel" could -never- do anything bloody wrong...dumbass. >.< I hope your ankle feels better soon!
Coffee_Kaioken 0
Love that reply. "of course his little angel could never do anything wrong."
Boweezee 0
PWNED. XD
ForWhatItsWorth 0
Douchebag? What kind of a moronic idiot trying to be his daughter's best friend says 'douchebag'?? Keep her on a leash if you have issues..