Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML
Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck. I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML
Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML
Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML
Today, I finally got to take the bus to the store on this icy cold day. I got there at 1 pm and found it closed. Their website said they'd open late at 10 am. Then, I missed a bus home and had to walk back in the ice and sludge. I slipped, fell on my ass, and my shoes and socks got soaked in dirty ice water. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
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Top comments
karamman 5
4 miles for some ice cream? Now that's determination
Dracoboxer357 36
So, you purchased 1000 kgs of ice-cream (plus whatever the difference is between a shit-tonne and a regular tonne is), with a distance of 6.4 kms needed to travel, in an environment of roughly 46'C, which gives you an estimated time of 10 minutes before it's melted beyond consumption........Interesting. I guess the only question I have to that is, can you and your husband maintain a running speed of no less than 38.4 km/h, with a tonne strapped to your combined asses, for 10 solid minutes? Because if not, you may not have thought this through very well. :)
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Comments (141)
lolfood 24
Eat it all right now!
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Or return it.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Or return it.
unknown_user5566 27
10- But then they would have NO ice cream, and that would be a sad, sad day.
Dracoboxer357 36
27- Few truer words have been spoken....or typed. I say eat can you can, cut your losses with the rest, and call it a fantastic day. ;)
Calyx_fml 22
Give it away give it away give it away, now!
zandalee 20
After eating as much as you can, have an ice cream fight!
PrimeEvilTahir 24
There are several solution to this: Taxi/cab Bus Use a friend to drop you Rent a car Borrow a car If none of the solution provided is readily available, talk to the store manager to allow you to keep the icecream in the freezer till you comeback with a car. I'm sure you can find SOME sort of transport faster than your two legs...
zandalee 20
....yep but not as much fun as ice cream fight.... Am I right or am I right.
opendoorclosed 8
I say walk at your own pace, then have some lovely chocolate soup for dinner....
youaredumb1117 1
They would, it would have been eaten? Your logic is flawed!
karamman 5
4 miles for some ice cream? Now that's determination
mikeymayhem_87 15
Haha, most definitely!
Boomshadow 3
At least when OP got home, they would already have burned off some of the calories!
aleeshttylXD 9
then probably gained it all back eating it.
aleeshttylXD 9
then probably gained it all back eating the icecream..
luckylea24 7
Yeah well, ice-cream is so totally worth it!! Especially if it involves chocolate :D
Inheritance 10
If it melts re-freeze it? I mean might be a little frozen burnt but totally worth it.
Mathyouu 0
69 likes.
mikeymayhem_87 15
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Sumalum 7
LIES!!
Sumalum 7
I don't think you're going to make it..
mikeymayhem_87 15
LIES!!
mikeymayhem_87 15
LIES!!
rollinmoney 3
I think it's metric "shit"-ton.
DocBastard 40
You'll never make it. My best advice would be to sit your ass down on the curb, grab a spoon, and dig in. Feel free to share what you can't finish. Then you all can send thanks to whomever the genius was who invented ice cream in the first place.
LouisianaBob 9
I'd say they may as well take their time instead of walking four miles in 115 degree weather unless of course they want heat stroke.
doctorhook86 25
In the wilds of Suburbia, I can imagine Survivorman advising viewers to use ice cream to survive the blistering heat on that trek.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
It was the cows that created it, it's always those god damn cows.
_highandlow 5
That inventor of ice cream my dear friends was the wife of President Madison, Dolly Madison :)
Aug1508 9
Instead of ice cream you'll have milkshakes.
reallytho3 11
Or hot chocolate lol
pokefan813 16
Or flavored cheese
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#46 - Yeah, because cheese doesn't have flavor already, right?
sonicgreg 12
No. It just has that faint moldy texture, makes you wanna taste and that's whats tricking you .
crapmaster3000 19
But will they bring all the boys to the yard?
MrsVicious 8
Idiots
ailsajayne 5
How constructive of you and light hearted might I add...
bellygirl2000 0
Bootyhead u should just shut your face
ALpein 0
Can't be a preschool teacher with that attitude.
leadawg75 12
Bitch.
sarahlouise0506 10
Your married, with a title of 'misses'?
TheArchAngel 8
105- What other title is she suppossed to have?
TriflingAllDay 6
I wish I could run everyone in this comment section over with a very large truck. Except 15.
unknown_user5566 27
Is "shirt-ton" a new measuring unit that I wasn't aware of?
sayhey22 19
"shit-ton"
unknown_user5566 27
It was "shirt-ton" originally. The mods probably edited it.
ICastillo 25
Good luck...
hockeyoceancity 13
You too Ted, hold in the smoke man! HOLD IT!