Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend when she walked into his bedroom while we were having sex. I didn't drive there, so I'm now sitting in his car while they fight. It's been two hours since she got home. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out with one of her guy friends. After two bars, we ended up back at her place and somehow the three of us ended up in bed. I was a Gold Star Lesbian and now I'm just a slutty bi girl. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NessaMae 19
It seems so hard to find anyone faithful these days. People suck.
etoilenuit 15
Inform her that she is now single.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
NessaMae 19
It seems so hard to find anyone faithful these days. People suck.
anythingmustbe 18
Looks like the girlfriend might have.
davidpropert 32
Did you even read the FML #12?
unkhammun 5
#28 he was saying his girlfriend might have. A clever reply to #1's comment that people suck, meaning his girlfriend might have been sucking. I'll leave it up to you to figure out what she might have been sucking.
anythingmustbe 18
I'm thankful that someone understood what I was trying to convey.
RabbitOfAurora 28
I took that as the girlfriend found somebody faithful in OP.
katt_is_here 24
If you are looking for an example of a faithful relationship, FML is probably the exact opposite place you should look.
etoilenuit 15
Inform her that she is now single.
Weird_situations 13
And inform your "best friend" that his is no longer your friend.
booze_n_bitches 37
I hope that's ex girlfriend ! Not that she was technically your girlfriend? Uh, I'm confused now...
patchesOhoolihan 12
Oh that's nasty (cleveland voice)
iAlissa 34
I guess this comment applies to any and every FML now.
tehman117 21
Just nasty*
ThatPlankton 15
I can't tell if I find this phrase more, or less annoying to have to read on all the comments as opposed to the "shitty situation" comment.
speakersboom 19
left hand: blue, right hand: crotch!
anythingmustbe 18
Did she win? By win I mean the great prize which is herpes.
TheCrispyCat 20
Play Twister with her best friend.
CobraLazerFace 21
Two Best Friends Play! The hypest cheating on FML
mn_shr 22
To do list: 1. Dump girlfriend. 2. Excommunicate "best" friend. 3. Live happily ever after Of course you're left with the option of beating the shit out of friend between steps 1 and 2. Sorry OP.
junkman6 22
I say you act like his friend for a while then soak his underwear and socks in capsaicin. Then beat his ass and excommunicate him.
dreadbeat69 12
I don't think any of the blame should be put on the friend. The girl chose to cheat by her own free will. He just reaped the benefits.
sig4life 18
The blame should be split evenly. A best friend would not partake knowing that he will not speak to his best friend ever again. You sound like you are the same as his best friend. I hope none of your friends trust you like a best friend. They would be in for it.
katt_is_here 24
Men are not total animals that lack control. If the girl came on to him, and he was a decent guy, he would have told her no and told his best friend immediately. That's what a real man and a true friend does. They both get equal blame.
ButterflyHaze 25
You mean ex-girlfriend, right? FYL, OP. That sucks so badly.
Zimmington 21
How do you know it was Twister? It could've been naked charades.
the_zero_article 15
*mimes vigorous pelvic thrusting* "You're a...terrible best friend? No? You just wanna ****? Okay!"