Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
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Top comments
HeyyShayy 15
You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?
anonymuse_fml 31
How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?
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Comments (97)
Dexter83_fml 17
I hope you called the police and from there they would obtain the vehicle reg and make an arrest. That behaviour is not acceptable
marshedred 4
For the people wondering if it's against the law, yes it is. However, where the incident took place was New York. That is abnormally normal for that to happen there lol. NYPD doesn't have the time nor the patience to deal with a guy with his penis out. So yes it's illegal but no, no NYPD police officer will deal with it.
itwasntme14 19
You know New York State has a lot more in it than NYC right? I'm sure in a more rural part of the state it's a big deal.
Guyanesebeauty 5
I tried to report a similar incident here in NYC on the subway three weeks ago . The guy was full on masturbating infromt of my face and even managed to smile at me . One of the precincts told me as long as there was no physical contact , they can't do anything .
Guyanesebeauty 5
The other precinct suggested I report it as a hate crime because it's the only way they will look into it . ( I wear a hijab ). I refused to report it as a hate crime because it wasn't that . This is just the way these creeps get off.
Elban 20
Should've knocked that guy the **** out
mairelys 21
Uh, say something?
Miss_Unique1031 6
lol what the hell!!!
captainsmegma 12
Trolling with his wedding tackle.
FlightofAcidFox 18
Sounds like a hard situation for you.
tiredofwaiting 25
How did he not notice that?!? I would have reported him.
Tiber_fml 12
He knew what he was doing
rehadb 10
Shoulda said "Keep watering it, maybe it will grow!"
IMCRAZYYYY 11
OMG i work at a gas station with my dad sometimes and this guy came in and lutterally walked to the counter and said "im just gonna be honest im about to steal a beer" so i told him to leave and he was a homeless guy and he wouldnt and started talking shit about my mom who was there and he walked up to my dad and said "that lady there" and my dad cut him off and was like thats ny wige id watch what the **** you say. people are so crazy