Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
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Top comments
HeyyShayy 15
You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?
anonymuse_fml 31
How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?
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Comments (97)
Skycop_S 23
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.. and I know for a fact that it's gross as hell. I'm so so sorry OP.
MrsHoffman 11
You Americans are so sensitive, you never seen a penis before?
freddygasman 18
no we haven't, our bellies are to big according to the rest of the world. you may leave with your derogatory comment now.
BDA_fml 5
Should have pointed to it and started laughing. Tell him, wow that looks just like a penis only smaller!
jkjorn 18
My sister used that exact line on some perv who flashed her, she says the look on his face was priceless.
GeorgiaBea 28
I'm hoping you called the cops and filed a report. I also hope you have it on camera. That's absolutely disgusting.
Guyanesebeauty 5
I'm so sorry you had to go through this . I had a similar experience about three weeks ago on the subway here in NYC. What really got to me was that he smiled at me when I made eye contact with him . stay safe .
IamComrade 16
Maybe he didn't know,instead of pretending like nothing happened you should help the dude out and inform him his **** is hanging out.
Mandybruin 15
Well, see, this is what happened: he was being serviced by his lady friend while they were on their way to a hot soirée. He had to quickly run inside to pay so they wouldn't be late and simply forgot to put away his little member. Could happen to anyone.
schreibergx93 19
'Excuse me sir, you have a tiny exhibit on display, please remove it from public view'
SecundusSecunda 27
"That's 27.50, sir, thank you. Here is your change, and oh, sir, your penis is sticking out. Have a nice day!"
cmog3 12
I could've sworn I saw this in a video on Twitter.