Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
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Top comments
StzaCrack666 18
never heard the term "sex nose" before. i might have to use it now
fsomelife 26
At least he didn't sneeze...
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Comments (143)
fabs1171 23
Thats just plain nasty!
Pwn17 25
Seriously, who the **** does that in front of a drive thru window?
thatkidhesh 11
people have the balls to do some cray stuff these days.
Damian95 16
Oh... You're NOT supposed to do that in the drive through? Shit...
evilscorpi 29
I work at bk and I'm glad I haven't seen any crazy shit like that....yet
SuperDanielNL 23
Who calls a penis a sex-nose? That eufemism disturbs me the most.
botanistjessica 24
Yeah, I don't like sex-nose either. I don't know why posting an FML requires coming up with some off-the-wall names for people/things.
hellobobismyname 24
I think maybe OP meant sex hose.. That makes more sense, although it's really not that much better.
ScruffyFML 10
If that was me, I'd grab a note and write the site to some penis enlargement site then gently pass him the note with a smile.
KaylaTackett 18
69 likes haha
imaginaryvoice 18
Oh, the McDonald's drive-thru? Yeah I remember you. You got our order wrong.
SwaggCapone 11
time to "accidentally" spill a ice cold drink in his lap
JoeGrant 12
For you it was just awkward. Don't worry so much, OP, you probably won't ever see them again anyway. Lighten up!
ouimetnick 10
He was giggling. He didn't seem embarrassed to me.
JoeGrant 12
Misread it at first.
NeatNit 33
actually, no, I don't get this one at all. so ******* what? clearly they're doing something, those two. what's that got to do with you? your comment made perfect sense to me.
CharresBarkrey 16
I agree. OP probably wouldn't even recognize the guy if they saw him again, what with all the people someone working a drive-thru sees.
StzaCrack666 18
never heard the term "sex nose" before. i might have to use it now
Caitie_kid 8
Yeah, until I read "fully erect", all I was thinking was "what the hell is a sex-nose??" Lol.
Epikouros 32
N00bz! It was used on FML before, in the illustration for the guy who got his sex-nose caught when closing his laptop. Wait, why am I proud to know this?
dontpanic_fml 32
Perhaps she got it from the Futurama human horn episode. If not, she just has a creative mind for naming things I guess...
SixthSinEnvy 39
I was thinking Duce Bigalow...
tacojauns 45
Really guys It's obviously from Clockwork Orange
IworkAt711 14
Or Chris Fehn of Slipknot
bgibbz 15
Is he having fries with that shake?
cuppycakeslove 20
Drive-thru people do not get paid enough to put up with that shit. Sorry, OP
teamo2192 4
trust me i feel you. kfc/taco bell does not pay enough to deal with all the unruliness and bad attitudes of the customers. inside or drive thru
astralvagan 20
If it were me, I would have poured hot coffee on it/him.... But that's why I don't work in drive thru... I hope you can wash that image from your mind OP
thatkidhesh 11
....and been arrested.. for seeing an erection and scalding the guy for it. the guy in the car is a little crazy, you're flat out psycho.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Hot coffee - just no. XL ice-water - yes. Works wonders on those nosy sex-noses.
phatdaddy62 23
Actually 45, what the driver did is a felony in most jurisdictions.
thatkidhesh 11
93 and the punishment is a second degree burn?
Sfaizi24 17
And you should commit a felony as well? It's not exactly legal to burn someone's sex nose.
disappear_again 14
Sex nose. Made my day :)
BntyHntrSeattle 30
So you must've been in the car with him! I catch your drift.
ouimetnick 10
Something smells fishy...
zingline89 18
That's what you get for being nosey. Snot nice.
bootytoo 14
How is handing someone their change being nosey??
BeccaHugs 17
I think 11 was trying to make a pun. They were apparently unsuccessful.
CVTTRVN 19
Uh yeah could I get a number 12 with a side of an erection ? Thanks man.