Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML
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Top comments
Panu 14
Next time just say "stop it guys your turning me on." I'm sure it will work in your favour from then on.
Gofigure989 3
Why didn't you just say something?
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Comments (43)
FrostyNipz19 12
That's why third wheeling sucks for everyone
Gofigure989 3
Why didn't you just say something?
trollcrusher 17
I imagine OP would've felt extremely awkward if he was in the situation of confronting them while it was happening, so much so that he'd rather feign sleep than let them know he witnessed their whole little session. If it was me, I would just act restless and make noise until it was clear to them that I was "gaining consciousness". That way, I could pretend I'd never witnessed the situation, and they could go on thinking I had no clue.
brenton490 19
Like"that looks like fun can I have a turn".
Panu 14
Next time just say "stop it guys your turning me on." I'm sure it will work in your favour from then on.
ShirtlessWonder 17
In those situations, just immediately when you wake up say, "whoa, hey guys. Welcome to EB Games."
momo3p 22
XD Yes!
ihartmytdi 23
You might not be the true bro they deserve, but you're the true bro they need.
UhHuhHoney 20
Good thing they weren't actually "getting down". Now that would be awkward.
MrPortalFan 21
Should've said, "Damn, can I get in on this?" Give them a real shock
zarrganaut 17
Been there. Except my friends weren't making out. Just a step further. Dear god, why!
GhostFox 34
I don't quite understand the FML part of this? Was it that they were making out, that they were both OP's friends, or what? And why not just pretend to "wake up" really noisily?
iHateHippiesToo 6
Yeah. Pretending to be asleep seems a bit stalkerish.
koganti 18
I think you have watched free live pron of your friends: P
Lalala579121 28
I wonder what kind of **** you watch that makes you consider just making out to be ****.
quackImapenguin 16
He didn't say "****," he said "pron." Learn the difference! :P
Lalala579121 28
There is no difference. Pron (or pr0n) is just leet speak for ****.
quackImapenguin 16
Have you heard of jokes? I even put a helpful smiley with it's tongue sticking out to help you identify the joke as a joke.