Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
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Top comments
Ethan_Anonymous 28
I hate when I'm checking out a girl and they try to show off. Like really, if I'm checking you out and you notice and are into me, just talk to me
Wizardo 34
Warning shots fired.
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Comments (105)
youraveragehuman 16
Hopefully he starts going to a different bar to spare both of you an awkward encounter
tranced_ 45
love is all about awkward encounters I mean who knows they might hit it off after all?!
Wizardo 34
Warning shots fired.
muzy 23
Well, it's safe to assume that she blew him away!
xTommytheGUNx 15
im still laughing
somehappydude 11
How to scare a guy 101
mds9986 24
Is there a graduate level course?
tantanpanda 26
You should ask OP because she seems to have a PhD in it.
Violenna 14
Forever Alone University?
omarj03 5
Oh, he got a show alright. I can feel how uncomfortable he was. Better luck next time, OP
Ethan_Anonymous 28
I hate when I'm checking out a girl and they try to show off. Like really, if I'm checking you out and you notice and are into me, just talk to me
Silver7827 14
or maybe you just talk to her instead and not play games
Wizardo 34
I think most peoples form of flirting is desperate eye contact and hoping the other person is braver than you are.
JohnEvans 3
no one is going to talk to you with that profile pic
Isa_fml 20
Nobody asked you.
lemonadestand 7
Ironically enough, I don't remember anyone asking you to make a comment. #35 was just stating their opinion which is allowed. You know, freedom of speech and all
MozillaHostile 21
#61, then why in the hell does the comments section exist?
bass_ftp 12
So by that logic, why would they have to take that step? Maybe they are not that into you but just like to put on a show. You won't know until you talk to them. You're the one looking first so saying you hate them for putting on a show is a bit strange don't you think?
cheeeksss 29
And then there's girls like me who don't know how to put on a show. When I notice someone checking me out, I don't know what to do and I just hide because I'm awkward .__.
xTommytheGUNx 15
#91 I don't cheack girls out i awkwardly stare and then hide when they notice me.....:)
odamaliekh 26
Well on the bright side, you probably won't see him again. Maybe next time a cute guy walks in, just talk to him. Butt it still sucks, I feel sorry for you OP!
warrenhoward42 20
nice pun
sylvienoir 18
Little does everyone know, #6 actually didn't know how to use the correct form of "but" and can't let anyone know their secret. ~sarcasm~
Heyjai 18
welcomed him with trumpet fanfare, eh? dont sweat it OP...these things happen. sure you will find another cute guy in short order...
lennon_ 16
You should have just talked to him he was already checking you out. At least you'll save the embarrassment from seeing him again.
WOTAN1488 24
:(
singer0421 32
You need some Bend and Snap advice from Elle Woods
APHPrussia 19
Maybe he's gay, totally gay. (Gay and European, anyone?)
DogeDogeDoge 13
You tried.
okaydisarray 17
Why? She's already mastered the Bend and Pop technique, she just needs to find someone who can appreciate it.