Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
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Top comments
HeyyShayy 15
You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?
anonymuse_fml 31
How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?
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Comments (97)
jerbear91 18
I probably would have looked. idk why. just seems like something I'd do.
whitnayfortooh 29
id look. ..especially if I knew they were trying to be funny I would make it obvious I was looking. ..probably reach for it to
MandieL 27
It was either a dare or a bet. Either way it is indecent exposure, and I hope he either gets caught and fined, or hurt enough to deter him from doing it again. Sorry you had to be the unfortunate victim to his idea of fun.
buckdharma 38
By any chance, was this a BP station?
nonsensical 26
It was you, wasn't it?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
BP standing for "Bitty Penis"?
freddygasman 18
as in itty bitty penis maybe
O0hdear 21
that's just nasty.
Sansonnet 1
******* destroy, I'm gonna kill you and your entire family, bitch !!!
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Rock out with your **** out, that's what I always say.
gobiteme2 34
Feel for you OP what a dick move on his part. In the state I live in it's not consider indecent exposure, only way they could be charged be if they tried to sexual arouse themselves or the other person. How's that for being F upped.
GGregoire 16
Say hello to my little friend
Badkarma4u 17
I had that happen when I delivered pizza. I simply asked him if he was out of his rabid ass mind, and refused to give him his pizza or take his money until he was properly dressed. I think he watched too much gay ****, because shit was not going to play out like that.
starlandmarie 22
Maybe he wanted you to look and give him your opinion about his package? :D