Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a noise complaint about "loud stomping" in my apartment disturbing the tenant below. I guess I'm supposed to tell my sweet children that they are no longer allowed to play in their own home. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, yet again, my upstairs neighbor can’t stop stomping. It’s troubling. There are random noises and thuds at 3 a.m. I've emailed the leasing office several times to no avail. I even told the leasing office that I didn't care if my neighbor has insomnia, I really don’t, I just have to be up at work by 6:00 a.m. every day. FML
Today, my new neighbor just put up really loud wind chimes. I just got a ton of letters under my door, stating if I don't take them down, they're going to file a noise complaint with the building management. She owns her condo, I don't. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
I'd buy a pogo stick and jump nonstop until I went through the floor and landed on the arseholes head.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Sounds like oP could use lightweight and ninja pro
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Comments (137)
istishia 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
american small or actual small?
M0rt 0
+5 internetz
Freeze_fml 17
Hopefully not BBW small.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Sounds like oP could use lightweight and ninja pro
Laners561769 9
I hate scitzophrenic neighbors too, OP.
bmoss 0
Haha nice reference
HideouslyHuman 10
The stereotypes are booming! Don't use them!
StoryOfTheYear 15
There's no such this as American small anymore, only medium, large, or as many X's as you can type in the box provided.
94yhy 8
Maybe it's the heels OP is wearing to compensate for her being small.
godlike1 5
There are American smalls... I can name two girls I know (9th grade) 5'10 and weighs less then 100 there is also a 4'9 that weighs 70-80
Sebastian_NG 17
Are you by any chance a 12 year old that play violin?
Renesaga 8
I'm 6'4" and I weigh 140, so I'm extremely small, and I'm American.
fymother 13
You can definitely be "small" and make a lot of noise. I grew up in a condominium so I learned how to walk quietly, but most folks walk heel-first instead of on the balls of their feet. Then it doesn't take much for quick little footsteps to echo through the structural parts of the house.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
I'm 5'8" and weigh 120 but then again I'm 16 :P
zombicidal 11
I think OP should get those one clothe woven like hammock floors above the regular floor like they have at bonkers
fallingstarsxox 8
Lol I saw that FML as well
InanimateObject 0
OBVIOUSLY DOES GET THE REFERENCE..
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol @ all of the people who are posting their height and weight. It's a joke.
5t3ff1k4h 47
83 - You can still walk quietly even if you walk heel first.
tjv3 10
You should post a picture and show us how small you are
LeStab 4
And you are still alive?! I'm 6'2" and 180.. If I lost 40lbs I'd be a stick
bizarre_ftw 22
71 - Excuse me! I have a friend who disappears when she turns sideways! Then again, she is a ginger, they have a tendency to be anomalies... :) (note: gingers are awesome and shall take over the world)
farhil 14
Gingers have no souls.
False_Stupidity 42
I'm huge... Oh, we're talking about weight, my bad...
flamerocker 9
Op should call Criss Angel
leadrunner751 3
only queers insult the country they live in
primadonna9396 16
It's definitely possible. one of my housemates is a 5'0" Asian girl, 90 lbs at most, and she sounds like an elephant going up the stairs. Her (slightly larger) sister doesn't though, so it must be the way she walks.
natsaysheyyy 16
Agreed. However, I was born here and have a healthy BMI of 19.(:
heatherrr17 19
#26 schizophrenic neighbor reallly? Thats offensive, ive had psychotic episodes...
tjv3 10
Wow that blows
RetardedChipmunk 7
No it doesn't
m0tl3ycru3 0
Just increase your sneak to 99 like in skyrim
Jvr91 8
Be a ninja like me
StopDropNRoll 11
^ will you train me. I want to walk around silently too!
XxNINJA_28xX 8
I'm a ninja too xD
Missiy10 0
No no no u think ur ninga??? No u have to be asian to be ninga like me!!!
beachbabe830 0
It's really not as hard as it looks
bemylove123 9
Show them what loud and obnoxious really sounds like and then maybe they'll appreciate how much noise you actually make.
every1luvsboners 11
I'd buy a pogo stick and jump nonstop until I went through the floor and landed on the arseholes head.
every1luvsboners 11
Yes ma'am, everything you say is correct.
ikickgingers 15
Hence the suggestion...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
ROFL I could just picture that, hilarious!
bizarre_ftw 22
I've got a friend name Rafael who, for obvious reasons, everyone calls rofl, now I can't see that acronym with out picturing his insane weirdness.
bizarre_ftw 22
>.< I think it's officially ruined for me!
jasminea 0
put a bunch of foam mattresses on the floor, then walk on them.
bubble25_fml 5
Do you know how to read?
kaylee777 0
Once you learn, please teach me. Thx :)
rcloca 10
I heard if you can levitate, the neighbor will be happy and so will you because you would be magical!