Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking about?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
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Comments (166)
ThecomingofTan 9
Start making dog noises to complete the transformation into her dead dog, OP.
RedPillSucks 33
Hopefully, you were better in the sack than the dog. Or perhaps you weren't and that's why she's crying.
FourEyeJackie 0
Haha zo zielig voor je ;p
grasshopper02 2
Damn kid. Might be somethin to work on if you really look like an animal when you get it in..
beebananaz88 0
Try having sex with a Michael Myers mask!
grasshopper02 2
Damn kid. Might be somethin to work on if you really look like an animal when you get it in..
tori0613 0
I love sex
520kzk 2
lord you are 14! Find something 'your age' to do. Your comment had no relevance anyway.
scrework 6
Seriously .. what the fack?
lilirose19_fml 3
I can't help but wonder ... Way the helicopter was she doing with that dog???
jobsman99 0
Like others have said, do her from behind doggy style and she won't see you face. Or straddle her chest and put your c*ck on her mouth real deep. She won't be able to see your face. Or put a blindfold on her and invite your friends over for some group sex.